Page 92 of Kane's Awakening
Chapter Twenty-Five
Kane
Smirking at Ryker’s text, I started typing back a smartass reply.
“Matthews!” Frank barged in, scaring the shit out of me and making me nearly throw my phone.
“Yes, sir?” I asked, standing up from my desk.
“IA sent over their report. You’re cleared.” He retrieved something from his back pocket and handed it to me. “Looks like you’ll need this again.”
My badge.
“Thank you, sir.” I took it and opened the flap, running my fingers across the emblem on the inside. Amazing how something so simple could have so much significance. “Does this mean I’m finally off desk duty?”
He chuckled, a deep rumbling sound. “It does. Monday morning, you’re back to your old schedule. Got it?”
I nodded.
Once he was out of sight, I released a shaky breath, not sure if I was more relieved it was over and things could go back to normal… or nervous that I’d be going back in the field. It had been months since I’d been able to work my regular job. Ever since the night of the shooting, I’d struggled with having killed a man, but as the weeks had passed, I’d found a deeper understanding in it—if I hadn’t killed him, he would’ve killed Harry and me. I’d done the only thing I could have.
The therapy with Dr. Chase had helped me cope with having killed the guy, and the rest I’d learn to cope with as it came. The psychologist had also told me my feelings and reservations were normal in these types of situations.
“We all deal with trauma differently,” he’d said during my last session. “It’s not a matter of being fixed, but rather being honest about your emotions and recognizing that pain. Not blocking it out. Over time as you move on, that pain becomes less.”
So, that had made me feel better.
The nightmares had stopped, and I’d come to terms with it, but there was still unease when I thought of holding a gun again. Not to mention the damn panic attacks I’d started having. However, I realized the anxiety about guns had started lessening as well.
I wasn’tfixed, but I wasn’t broken.
After work, I drove home to shower and grab an overnight bag before going over to Ryker’s place.
Molly sat beside me in the truck, enjoying the breeze coming in from the rolled down window. Her tongue stuck out and I knew my girl was happy. I reached over and rubbed her back before placing my hand back on the steering wheel.
My phone rang, and I answered it without checking the caller ID.
“Hello?”
“Your mother is upset with you,” my dad said into the phone. “You haven’t set up a time for her to meet this Ryker of yours, and it’s been weeks since you told her you would. Now, I told her these things take time, especially with you, but she’s adamant and quite frankly being a pain in my backside.”
I laughed at the irritation in his voice. Mom’s complaining must’ve been pretty bad for him to call me.
“Tell her to calm down,” I said with a laugh. “I’m actually on my way to his house now, so I’ll mention it. Is Ma cooking dinner Sunday? Maybe we can come over then.”
“Tell him I’m gonna cook lemon pepper chicken and roasted red potatoes,” Mom called from the background.
“Did ya hear that?” Dad asked.
“Yep,” I answered with a grin. “I gotta go. Love you.”
“Love you, too. See you Sunday?”
“I’ll be there.”
Once the line was disconnected and I’d tossed my phone in the cup holder, I lightly drummed my fingers on the steering wheel.
Ryker and I were closer than we’d ever been. Hell, I was closer to him than I’d ever been to anyone. We’d known each other for nearly four months and had been dating for two of them. Asking him to come with me to Sunday dinner with my family wasn’t a big deal.
