Page 51 of A Gift of Time
He slid out from under me and got off the bed. As he gathered his clothes, I stood and approached him.
“Why are you leaving?” I asked.
“Because this is too much, Jack,” he said, turning back to me. “There’s no way you can love me. It’s only been a few weeks.”
He put on his boxers and pants before snatching his shirt from the floor and slipping it on over his head.
“You don’t know that,” I said as I tensed with worry. When he pinned me with a stare, I closed the distance between us and took his face in my hands. “You are everything I’ve always wanted, Caden. You’re kind, funny, and incredibly sexy. Time doesn’t matter.”
He stepped back, shaking his head. “You’re mocking me. I told you that I fall in love too fast, and now you’re pulling this after the best sex of my life.”
“It was the best of mine, too.” I reached for him again, but he moved out of the way. “Dammit, where are you going to go? It’s snowing outside.”
“I’m going to my shop. I’ll be fine.” After putting a sweater on over his shirt, he left the bedroom. “Goodnight.”
I chased after him.
“Don’t! Please.” I searched for the right words to say to make him change his mind. We were in the living room now, beside the fireplace where the damn clock ticked and reminded me of what I was about to lose. “Love is supposed to be scary, Cay. That’s why they call itfallingin love. But although scary, it’s exciting.”
“This isn’t love, Jack,” he said in a flat tone. “It’s just sex.”
“That’s not true,” I denied. “It was never just sex between us, and you know it. I know you do.”
“It doesn’t matter how I feel.” His blue eyes welled with tears. “In the end, you’ll just hurt me like every other man has. I love but never get it back, and I’m tired of getting my heart broken by men like you.”
“Men like me?”
He crossed his arms. “Men who are way too attractive for me, crazy successful, and who can get anyone they want. You’re all the same. Don’t think I didn’t see your drawer of goodies in there, Jack. All the sex toys, condoms, and lube. You’re a player.” He wiped at his eyes before averting his gaze. “It’s been fun, but I can’t do this anymore.”
When he started walking toward the door, I ran after him and grabbed one of his arms, turning him around to face me.
“Caden, please. I’m not lying to you. You’re all I want in this world.” My voice shook as I spoke, and it felt like my heart was only being held together by a single thread. Desperation rang from every inch of me. “I know men have screwed you over in the past and shattered your ability to trust, but I’m not them. I love you.”
His gaze held mine, and behind the doubt, I saw a flicker of hope.
But then it faded.
“I wish I could believe you,” he said, and his voice cracked on the last word. “I’ve never felt as happy as I am with you. You’ve made me laugh and feel things I never thought I’d feel. But I need more time, Jack. This is way too fast. I just got out of a relationship, and I still haven’t recovered from that wound. The last thing I need is to jump into another relationship so soon.”
The clock hit eleven thirty. Only twenty-five minutes left.
“Is there anything I can do to get you to stay with me?” I asked, cupping his face. Tears fell down my cheeks as I stared into his blue eyes. “Please don’t leave me.”
I can’t lose you. You’re my heart.
“The best thing you can do right now is let me go,” he said, stepping out of my hold. “My head is in a weird place. I’m sorry. I’ll call you tomorrow, and we can figure this out. But for right now… I just need to be alone and think.”
He left, and I couldn’t stop him.
I stood in the middle of the room, staring at where he’d once been. A sob left me, and I fell to my knees, burying my face in my hands.
Don’t leave me, Cay.
***
Comparing my situation to dying was outlandish and a bit ridiculous, but it’s what I felt like. In just a short amount of time, I would forget everything that I was and become someone else—someone who used men and cared too much about materialistic shit. I had a promotion at work after the Christmas break, and I didn’t care.
I’d give it all up for Caden: the career, fancy apartment, luxurious car, and all the expensive watches, suits, and shoes. I didn’t want any of it.
