Page 40 of Tangled Up In You
“Why are you here, Hunter?” Corbin’s right hand formed a fist at his side, something he did when he was nervous or agitated. “Just to apologize and ease your guilt?”
“That’s part of it,” I admitted. One of the many downfalls of being an over thinker was that we also carried guilt to the extreme, no matter if the mistake was big or small.
Corbin turned his back to me and walked into the other room.
The old, more timid Hunter would’ve taken that as a sign to leave, but the more determined and truly apologetic one took it as a sign to try harder. I followed him into the living room.
He stood at the window, gazing out into the back field.
“What’s the other part?” he asked, looking at me.
“I miss you,” I managed to say around the lump in my throat. “I missus. What we used to be.”
“We can’t ever be what we used to be,” Corbin said as the same pain I felt in my chest flashed in his eyes. “Believe me. I’ve been wishing for a do-over of that fucking day by the lake when I left you. But no amount of regret and beating myself up about it will change a damn thing, Hunter. So, I suggest you do what I did and just let it go.”
That’s when realization struck.
Corbin was right; letting go of the past was the best thing to do. If we continued this dance ofshould havesand regret, we’d never move forward.
“Okay.” I sat on the couch, scratching at the edge of my jaw where the slight stubble was longer than I liked.
“Just okay?” Corbin asked, flipping around to face me. “You’re not usually one for so little of words.”
“What do you want me to say, Cor?” I peered up at him, shaking my head. “To apologize for ruining the future we’d planned? To blameyoufor ruining it? To talk about how that one phone call seven years ago is the fucking biggest regret of my life and that I’d doanythingto take it back?” Tears streamed down my face. “God dammit, Corbin, I’m at a loss here. I have this tendency tofixeverything, and I can’t fix this.”
He was beside me then on the couch, pulling me against his bare chest and pressing his face into my hair. The warmth of him made the tears fall faster. Everything about being in his arms felt soright.
When he kissed me, I felt him trembling too. He brushed his fingers through my hair before resting his hand at my nape, gently cupping the back of my neck. His lips moved against mine, unhurried and soft.
We didn’t say anything. Our actions said enough for us—speaking a thousand words in each pressing of his lips on mine and each of my content exhales.
It was different than the last time when he’d been at my house, when I’d done the whole angry sex thing. There’d been so much pent-up rage inside me at the time, and it’d seemed like the best way to release it all had been to bang him against the wall and devour his mouth. To fuck him with no feelings attached. I’d soon figured out that hadn’t been the answer.
There was no anger present now.
I kissed him deeply as the hope for forgiveness blossomed in my chest. Forgiveness for him and for myself. We’d punished each other enough. I didn’t know what the future held for us, but for the moment, I wanted to just be with him.
To get lost in him like I used to do.
He kissed my jaw before moving down my neck, flicking his tongue at the skin at the base of my throat. My spot. He lay me back on the cushion.
I sighed and held him tighter, feeling the muscles of his back flex beneath my palms.
From experience, I knew he preferred rougher sex—harder kisses, bites on his neck, and nails clawing his back. And yet, he kissed me like we had all the time in the world.
His body had definitely changed since we’d been eighteen. Back then, he’d been in amazing shape too, but he was a real beast now: a lean, sexy torso, rippling abs, and a rock hard ass. He had muscle in places I didn’t even think youcouldhave muscle.
Every inch of him was perfection, and knowing the sweet guy beneath it all just made it even better.
I’d stayed in shape over the years, hitting the gym at least four days a week in an attempt to make me feel better about myself. I was in better shape than I’d been as a teenager, but compared to Corbin, I still felt inadequate.
“Get out of your head, Hunter,” he whispered, staring down at me. He kissed the spot beneath my right eye before doing the same on the other side. The action was simple, but gentle. “Stay in this moment with me.”
I focused on him, and the way his eyes stared into mine caused something in my chest to break.
“Make love to me, Cor,” I said as I tangled my hands in his short blond hair. “I’m tired of fighting. I just want to escape for a while.”
The planes of his face softened, making him appear younger. The dam in my chest cracked wider, and I knew once it fully broke, there’d be no going back. There’d be no keeping him at a distance anymore.
