Page 67 of Declan
Chapter 16
Declan
I wonder what made Icarus fly so close to the sun. He was warned of the dangers of doing so, and yet he did it anyway, bringing about his destruction. Some said it was hubris that made him ignore the warning; that he thought himself to be invincible.
I didn’t feel that way.
No, I believed it wasn’t hubris that had him soaring so high, but rather excitement. Freedom. He’d been given wings to fly. His father told him of the dangers of flying too high and from flying too low, for the sun would burn him up and the sea would pull him under. But sometimes reason went out the window when you were overcome with joy.
Icarus had been giddy as he lifted from the ground with his newly fashioned wings. Wings made of wax and feathers.
When I was around Kyler—inside him, kissing him, getting lost in his touch—I felt that way. It wasn’t hubris that made me soar higher with my wax wings. It was the feeling of being alive, of finally living instead of existing.
I’d been asleep for so many years. Kyler had awoken me.
What had Icarus felt in his final moments? As his wings melted and he began his descent toward the sea, had he cursed himself for his stupidity? For his recklessness?
Or had he smiled?
I believed he smiled, if for only a moment. That the warmth of the sun had been worth his fall from grace.
Would Kyler be worth mine?
I scrutinized myself in the mirror that morning, gliding my fingertips over the bite mark at the base of my throat.
Last night had been fucking wild. Our first day in Mykonos had been spent without even leaving the villa. Kyler and I’d fallen into bed shortly after arriving and had only gotten out of it when our bellies grumbled with hunger. But once satiating that hunger, we’d devoured each other again. And again.
My body ached in all the right places. My abdominal muscles were sore as if I’d done an intense ab workout, as were my biceps and thighs. All signs of a great night. The one place I didn’t ache, though, was one I secretly craved.
I wanted Kyler to top me.
I’d bottomed very few times in the past and hadn’t liked it much. Not that the sex had been bad; it’d just made me feel the self-loathing even more afterward. I knew how shitty it was to feel guilt for being with men. Yet, even though I knew there shouldn’t be any shame in men being together, I’d felt it anyway. Being taken in that way had made it even worse.
But I wanted Kyler to do it. To fuck me in the most intimate way I could think of.
The disgust I’d felt with the other men hadn’t reached me with Kyler. I wasn’t sure if I was coming more to terms with my sexuality—finally, after fourteen long years—or if it had more to do with Kyler and how he made me feel. Perhaps both.
Maybe that’s why I’d thought of Icarus that morning.
Freckles and I’d decided to part ways after the vacation, but I wasn’t sure that’s what I wanted.
Flying so close to the sun felt too amazing. Too freeing.
“Stop thinking about it,” I whispered, instantly feeling a little nuts for talking to myself.
We had a full week of sex, fun in the sun, and sightseeing. I needed to stop worrying about the future and start living in the present. I still had time to think things over.
Kyler was sitting outside on the patio and drinking coffee as he looked out over the sea. The light breeze ruffled his brown hair and the sun shone down on his already deliciously tanned skin. He was like my sexy jock with his athletic build and easy-going personality. He always had a smile for people, flashing his pearly-white teeth and making everyone who met him feel special.
Hewas special. Truly one of a kind.
I’d met countless people in my life, but none of them had ever made me feel even half of what Kyler did.
“You going to just stare at him all morning?”
I looked to see Gideon standing near the kitchen counter, his beefy arms crossed over his thick chest. The tightness around his eyes was smoother, as if he’d had a good night’s rest for the first time in months.
There’d been nights when we stayed in hotels that I heard him crying out in his sleep. Nightmares about his time in the Special Forces, I was sure. But he refused to talk about it.
