Page 93 of Declan
“You don’t have to hide your thoughts with me, Declan. Why did you get emotional just now?”
I met his blue eyes. I was feeling so much at once and wasn’t sure how to sort through all the thoughts in my head.
“You said I’ll be judged no matter what I do. You’re right.” I paused to steady my shaking voice. I was on the verge of breaking down. “I guess it just hit me that although I’m afraid of losing my career, I’m afraid of dying alone even more. Because at the end of the day, a reputation won’t keep me warm at night. I’d rather risk losing my career than live another day in this fucking lie.”
Just like when Icarus flew into the sun, I decided to take that risk, if only to be free for just a moment. And if loving Kyler made me crash and burn, I’d fall to earth with a smile on my face as my wings melted away.
***
I was used to being recognized everywhere I went. For the most part, it was fine. People asked for a photo or an autograph and then went on with their day. Having Gideon with me helped, too, I imagined.
“Declan!” some girls shouted as I stood in the coffee line that morning.
I could’ve had someone get my coffee for me, but I’d wanted to do it myself. When I wasn’t doing interviews, I’d sat at home for the past week, and I wanted to get out and stretch my legs.
“Hey,” I greeted them with a smile. “Good morning.”
They squealed, nearly deafening me in one ear, and then asked for selfies. After the fangirls were appeased, I ordered mine and Gideon’s coffee and waited. They didn’t keep me waiting long, placing mine ahead of all the other orders to get it to me quicker.
“Here you go, Mr. Price,” the guy said. His hands shook as he held out the two lattes.
“Thanks,” I said, placing a tip in the jar before turning to leave.
More people asked for selfies, which I obliged. Gideon stood close by, preparing to step in if it got too crazy. I left the coffee shop and was stopped again right outside of it. So yeah, I was used to people recognizing me and yelling “Oh my god it’sDeclan!”every few minutes.
However, there was one name I wasn’t used to hearing.
“Adam?”
I stopped in my tracks. No one had called me that in years. No one knew it was my real name. I’d killed Adam the day I left to go to LA all those years ago. I’d reinvented myself with a new name, a new story.
When I turned around, I nearly dropped my coffee.
“Casey?” I asked in disbelief, walking closer to him.
Fourteen years had changed him, of course. He no longer had a rounded face and he was taller. But it was him. The same dirty-blond hair and green eyes. The same dimple in his cheek. He wore a suit now instead of the ratty T-shirt and holey jeans he used to wear.
“Holy shit,” he said, stepping forward to give me a hug.
My heart was beating out of my damn chest. He was the first guy I’d ever kissed. The first person I’d ever told I was gay. He’d been my first real crush and the only person who’d made my shitty life a little brighter when I’d been a fifteen year old kid with no real place to call home.
I hugged him. “I can’t believe it’s really you.”
“Same,” he said with a laugh and pulled away. “So, you’re a big movie star now, huh? I always said you’d go off and do great things with your life.”
“Looks like I’m not the only one who made it out of there okay,” I said, motioning to him. “You look like a real businessman.”
Casey chuckled and smoothed his hand down the front of his suit. “What, this old thing?”
The action drew attention to the gold band on his finger.
“You’re married?” I asked as an anchor dropped into my gut.
Had he done the same as me and lied about who he was? Had he married a woman and was now miserable because he hadn’t stayed true to himself?
“Yeah. Married for five years now.” Love gleamed in his eyes as he looked at his ring. “My poor husband has to deal with all my shit. The guy deserves a medal.”
“Husband?”
