Page 94 of Declan
“Of course.” Casey cocked his head at me. Then, his eyes mirrored the sadness in his voice. “Shit, Adam. Please tell me you didn’t let that bitch get to you.” When I didn’t answer, he touched my arm. “Hey, look at me.” I did. “She’s wrong. You don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not. I know who you are. Who you really are.”
I looked around to see if anyone was close to us on the street. However, then I thoughtfuck it. If someone overheard, whatever. I didn’t care anymore.
When someone walked too close to us, Gideon stepped in the way and diverted their path.
“How did you get over it?” I asked.
“I never said I was over it,” Casey answered, touching my arm again before letting his hand fall away. “Her words are like poison in my head sometimes. After leaving her house, I tried to be straight. But I was miserable. Even more than I already was. I moved to LA about six years ago and met my husband. He put a ring on it a year later.” Casey laughed and the edges of his eyes did that crinkling thing that told of a man completely in love. “I’m proud of the man I am today. I worked damn hard to become him.”
We talked more after that, walking to the park near the coffee shop. He was the marketing director for a big advertising agency in town, and he said he and Marcus—his husband—were thinking of having a baby.
“Crap, I gotta get to work,” he said after checking his watch. “It was nice catching up with you, Adam. Or Declan. Man, it’s weird calling you that.”
I stood from the bench and shook his hand. “It was great catching up with you, too. We should do it again sometime.”
“That’d be great.” He looked like he meant it.
“Thank you,” I said as he started to leave.
“For what?”
It was hard to talk around the lump in my throat, and my voice came out shaky. I was barely holding back the emotion threatening to spill out of me. “For showing me it’s possible to be happy after going through what we did.”
“You only have one life,” Casey said. “And I’m not wasting mine on shit that don’t even matter. The day you start living your life to please other people is the day you stop living.”
Later that day, I stared at my phone.
Freckles:I miss u.
Kyler had sent the text to me about a week before, and I hadn’t responded yet. Not because I was intentionally ignoring him; he’d sent it before I’d made the decision to come out for him.
No, not for him.
I was coming out forme. Living a lie was exhausting, and I was ready to take that next step. Ready to take control of my life. Casey had given me the final push I’d needed to stop living a half-life and find my happy ending, too.
Kyler was my happily ever after. I felt as though I’d known it since the first time I saw him.
The things I needed to tell Kyler couldn’t be said through a text message. Which was why I was planning a trip to Addersfield. A few things had to be taken care of first.
When I saw Kyler again, I didn’t want to hide anymore. I wanted to kiss him in front of God and everybody. I wanted him to know how much I loved him. I knew he’d be patient and wait for me. He’d hide our love until I was ready to tell the world.
But I didn’t want him to hide.
I didn’t want to hide, either.
“You’rewhat?” Rita, my agent, exclaimed into the phone.
“I’m gay,” I said, surprised by how freeing it was to say out loud. Still nerve-wracking, yeah, but amazing, too. “I’m tired of keeping it a secret. I don’t want to make a huge deal about it, Rita, but I thought you should have a heads-up. I’d like to get ahead of the rumor mill and make my own statement.”
She sighed into the phone. “This is either a brilliant career move or one that will ruin—”
“It’s not acareer move,” I interjected, standing on my balcony and looking out over my backyard. “This is my life, and I’m ready to fucking live it.”
“With your movie about to release, I’m not sure this is the kind of publicity you want,” she said, sounding panicky. “Don’t make a statement.”
“What do you suggest I do?”
She’d been my agent for years and knew what she was talking about. Even if it made me grind my teeth.
