Page 116 of Brighter Shades of Light
“Guilty.”
We went down to the kitchen, and it was like old times. I started the coffee while Cody leaned against the counter, watching me. Staying true to my promise, we got in the car to pick up donuts. Usually, I would protest at eating nothing but sugar for breakfast, but Cody being home was a special occasion.
“Are you okay?” I asked, after seeing him stare off a little too long.
“Yeah.” He smiled and squeezed my hand. But then, the smile slipped and his lip trembled. “Actually…I don’t know. I, uh, I’m sure a lot of people go through it after their first deployment, but I’m just…feeling off.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, I know I’m right here with you, but I still feel thousands of miles away. And some of the thoughts in my head are hard to process. It started while I was over there, and I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to worry you.”
“Perhaps it’s something you need to talk about in your classes.”
After a deployment, there were mandatory classes Cody had to take to readjust to home life. He was allowed to have this weekend off, but he would start the week-long course on Monday.
“Yeah, probably.” His mouth curved, and it was genuine this time. Tender, even. “It’s good to be home. You don’t know how much I missed you.”
My universe had aligned itself once again.
***
The chapel was stunning.
As an atheist, I never thought I would marry in one. Even with Emily, the ceremony had been outside, behind her parents’ mansion in the countryside. But Cody had wanted to marry in the military chapel at Camp Lejeune, and I knew how important it was to him.
The stained glass windows were remarkable, and the ceilings were high. The flags at the altar and the few hanging throughout added to the military ambience. Neither Cody nor I were big on decorating, but Lucy had helped us choose tasteful decorations and flowers that weren’t too flashy for the ceremony.
Guests arrived, some of them servicemen who wore their uniforms. In fact, there seemed to be alotof Marines and their dates filing into the building. More than I expected. Cody was loved and respected by many, and it was amazing to see…if not a little nerve-wracking. I recognized faces from the science community, as well; men and women I worked with here in North Carolina and ones I had met in past years.
I stood in a back room, separated from Cody and trying to calm my racing heart.
“You look magnificent,” Lucy said, squeezing my arms before stepping back and giving me another glance over. She wore a floor-length navy blue gown that had a lace back and modest neckline. Her blonde hair was in a low ponytail and braided to the side.
“Thank you.” I was wearing a black tux with a high button stance to compliment my slender build. Or that’s what Lucy had said when she helped me select it, because I was the least fashionable man alive. “How long before it begins?”
“Ten minutes. Are you panicking? You’re a little pale.”
“I’m fine.”Mostly. “Where’s Jared?”
“I think he’s with Cody.” Lucy smiled. “He should pop in and see you soon.”
Cody and I had decided to break tradition with the ceremony. Instead of one of us walking down the aisle, we both were. He would go first and take his spot at the front, followed by his groomsmen, and then I would follow behind him. Lucy was walking with me when I went down the aisle, and Cody was walking with Rachel, who had flown in from Hawaii with Marcus.
There was a knock at the door before it opened and Jared appeared.
“Everything okay in here?” He walked closer and stopped a few feet in front of me. “Well, you look a lot better than your soon-to-be husband. The man can’t stop shaking.”
Fear struck my chest.
“Is he having second thoughts?” I asked.
“No, no. He’s not.” Jared waved a hand at me. “He’s just nervous.” After checking his watch, he said, “I’m going to take a seat. The place is filling up in there.” He kissed Lucy on the cheek. “I’ll see you later, honey. You look beautiful.”
When it was time to start the ceremony, my legs felt as though they were about to give out. I hadn’t seen Cody since early this morning, and I wasn’t sure how I would react when I finally laid eyes on him again.
“Ready?” Lucy asked, looping her arm through mine.
Unable to speak, I nodded.
