Page 65 of Brighter Shades of Light
“Hey, I needed my beauty sleep.”
“Yeah, you need it,” Marcus said. “”Cause you be ugly, my bro.”
Tristen stood on the other side of Marcus and didn’t even look at me. My smile faltered and I got in line. Rachel leaned over to me.
“Everything okay between you guys?”
I didn’t feel like talking about it, so I said nothing, just stared ahead.
Luck was in my favor that day, as Captain Franklin ordered us to warm up and do three miles on the green. Quality running time where I could be alone with my thoughts was exactly what I needed. The other midshipmen and I stretched before forming a line on the green and waiting for the order to start.
During the run, I zoned out. I ran away from the shit in my head. The tension with Tristen and the fear of losing Sebastian if someone found out about our relationship. There were other worries, too. If this thing between me and Sebastian continued and we made it official, how long would we stay that way once I graduated?
I was probably getting ahead of myself. Just becauseIwas falling in love with Sebastian didn’t mean he felt the same. He might care about me more than a fling, but I needed to be careful and not assume his intentions. All I knew was I had never felt this way about anyone before.
After I ran three miles, I cooled down in the designated area. Tristen joined me not long after. Since he had ignored me all morning, I expected him to continue doing so. When he came to stand beside me, I looked at him in surprise.
“Hey,” he said, struggling to meet my eyes. “About yesterday. I’m sorry for being an ass to you. I hate how we’ve been lately, Cody. When you didn’t come home last night, it hit me that I was pushing away the only person in my life who actually gives a damn about me.”
The only person who cared about him? What about his family?
I didn’t get the chance to ask him about it.
Captain Franklin’s voice cut through the air and told us to hit the showers. Tristen walked away from me. I stared at the back of his head as we went into the locker room. He cut out right after that to head to the dorm, and I veered toward the showers, still trying to figure out what he meant.
From what I gathered, his rich family gave him everything he wanted, and they were all really close.
A quick shower and a walk across campus later, I entered the dorm and found Tristen sitting on the couch, his head bent toward the floor and his fingers linked behind his neck. He was dressed, but his hair was damp from his shower.
“Tristen?”
He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. “Hey.”
“What’s up?” I dropped my PT bag by the front door and went to sit beside him.
“Will you cut the shit and be real with me about something?” he asked, as his chin trembled.
I nodded.
“Are you screwing your professor?”
My first impulse was to get mad. Why did it matter to him so goddamn much if Sebastian and I were seeing each other? But I bit back the anger, knowing it wouldn’t help us move forward.
“Kind of.” I scratched at my jaw and sharply exhaled. “We’ve fooled around a little, yeah, but it’s more than that, Tristen. I really like him.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t know what was happening between us,” I said, becoming frustrated even though I’d warned myself against it. “I was processing it all and you just kept pushing my buttons and suffocating me. Maybe I should’ve told you sooner, but it felt too…I don’t know. Personal, I guess. I was afraid if I said something, the wrong person would find out and we’d be fucked.”
Tristen sat forward and folded his hands, his thumb digging into his palm. “I’m sorry I said the crap about the school board. I was just upset. I’d never tell those assholes a thing.”
“I know.”
“You’re my best friend.” His bottom lip trembled. “And I guess I was just afraid of losing you. I don’t have anyone else.”
“You said you were close with your family.”
“I lied. People do that sometimes.” Tristen stood up and put distance between us. “Wanna know why I have so much money? My dad, the fucking prick, pays me a monthly allowance to stay away. My parents were pissed when I came out and wanted me to keep it quiet, so their stupid friends won’t think badly of them. Dad puts money into my account each month, and I blow it on booze and whatever the fuck I want just to spite him. I hardly talk to them anymore.”
