Page 85 of Brighter Shades of Light
Spinning
“Love is like war; easy to begin but hard to stop.”
-H.L. Mencken
Chapter 22
Cody
The morning I had to leave for The Basic School, I woke with a heavy heart. Last night, Sebastian and I had lost ourselves in each other. We had groped, kissed, and fucked. And we had lain in each other’s arms afterward, silent, as if we both understood we wouldn’t get the chance to for a while.
The bed was cold, and I turned to find Sebastian gone. There was a hand-written note on his pillow.
Cody,
I’m not good with words. Everything I try to say comes out wrong. So I thought I’d write it down. I foresee us writing many letters in the future. Or emails, at least. When you leave today, I know it’s temporary. That you’ll return. And knowing you’re still out there, still loving me, will help me get through it, as I hope my love will do for you.
I never meant to fall in love with you. But like you said once before, our love was inevitable. Perhaps it was written in the stars. Destiny. You were destined to walk into my life, bringing light into my dark world. And I was destined to be caught in your energy field, forever changed.
You’re like a fixed star in my universe. Knowing you’re there, even if I can’t touch you, will keep me going.
I can’t say this to your face, for I fear I won’t be able to say even two words before I break down. Just know that no time or space will change how I feel about you. No matter how long you’re gone, I’ll wait for you.
You have my heart, Cody Miller.
Always yours,
Sebastian
I folded the letter and held it to my chest a moment, as if the words would keep the pieces of my heart in place. When I finally got out of bed, I tucked the letter into my bag and walked into the kitchen.
Sebastian stood in front of the sliding glass door, staring outside with a solemn look on his face. He turned at my approach, and within seconds, I was in his arms.
“Good morning, handsome,” he said.
Why did his arms have to feel so much like home?
“Morning.” I pressed my face into his neck, not letting him go. “Thank you for the letter. I hope you know I feel the same about you.”
“I know you do.” He rested his forehead against me and tightened his hold on my waist. “Are you certain Blue can make the trip?”
“Leave my boy alone.” I laughed and pulled back to smile up at him. “I’m positive he can make it. With the new engine and tires, I have no doubts.”
Sebastian had paid for the engine to be replaced, even though I told him he didn’t have to. But I had learned he could be stubborn when he wanted to be. It was a ten-hour drive to The Basic School, so I was leaving a few days early to give me time to arrive and settle in.
“Tristen is meeting you before you leave?”
“Yep. I’m picking him up at the dorm, and we’re driving together.”
“Why aren’t you taking his car?”
Yeah, Tristen’s car was a lot newer, but mine had character.
“Because I want to take mine. Stop worrying about me.”
“That’s an impossible request.”
Sebastian’s mouth inched closer, and I closed the gap between our lips. He smelled like aftershave, and his smooth jaw was proof of it. His hair was fixed, and he was dressed, as though he wanted to look nice for me before I left. I brushed my fingers through his blond waves and entwined them in the silky strands as I deepened the kiss.
