Page 94 of Brighter Shades of Light
When he came, he groaned deep in his throat and pressed his forehead against the top of my shoulder. I rubbed his back as he rode the waves of pleasure and bucked into me. Once his body started to calm, I took hold of his chin and kissed him.
“I love you,” I whispered against his lips.
I could say the words to him a thousand times and it still wouldn’t be enough.
“I love you, too.” He nuzzled my cheek. “It’s why I’m moving with you. Wherever you’re stationed after you finish training, I’m coming with you.”
Damn if his words didn’t make me tear up again. Maybe I was too big of a sap, but what the fuck ever.
“I can’t ask you to leave everything behind for me, Sebastian. You have a career, a home, a life in Emerald Falls.”
“My life is with you, Cody.” Sebastian caressed my jaw as he looked down at me, his hair falling into his face. I lifted a shaking hand and moved it aside. “I did some research.”
“Of course you did,” I said, smiling.
“There are several places you could be stationed, but the most likely ones are either Camp Pendleton in California or Camp Lejeune in North Carolina. Once you finish your specialty training after TBS, they should let you know. I’ve already looked at a few houses in both states. Just in preparation.”
I stared at him in disbelief. I had gotten the impression hemightuproot his life to move wherever I was assigned, but hearing him actually say it took me aback.
“You’re serious.”
“Yes, I am.” He rolled off me and gathered me in his arms. We were both sweaty, and our bodies stuck together. “It won’t be difficult for me to find a job. If I don’t find an instructor’s position, perhaps I can find work as a nuclear chemist again.”
“Won’t that remind you too much of Leon?”
Sebastian admitted that the reason he quit his previous job and began working as a professor was because he had met Leon at work, and it hurt him too much to have the constant reminder.
“Perhaps, but many things will always remind me of him.” He glided the tips of his fingers up and down my arm. “Where the grief used to cripple me, it doesn’t anymore. I’ll always love him. And miss him. But I’ve moved on.” He kissed my temple. “I think he’d be happy for me.”
“It’s probably weird for me to say this, but I wish I could’ve met him,” I said, closing my eyes and burrowing my face into my favorite nook between his neck and shoulder. “If you loved him, he must’ve been special.”
“He was.” Sebastian’s arm tightened around my shoulders. “I never told you, but the journal you’ve asked me about before? Leon gave it to me. He wrote me letters, sometimes talking about quantum physics and other times talking about us. It’s filled with his thoughts, his life. So I’d still have a piece of him when he was gone. I can’t seem to let it go.”
“You don’t have to let it go,” I said. “You can love me and still love him, too.”
I didn’t feel an ounce of jealousy toward Leon anymore. He was a part of Sebastian’s past, and because of him, I was able to love the Sebastian in front of me, one who would be different without Leon’s love.
Sebastian’s eyes softened, and he touched my bottom lip. “You’re incredible, you know that?”
“Yeah, I know.”
As his face inched closer, I met him with a kiss. Nothing could take me from him. Not time nor space. He often said I had an energy field around me, but I believed he had one, too. A force that kept pulling us together.
***
Before graduation, every student was required to participate in The War.
The War was the longest field exercise, lasting for eight days, and included long hikes carrying heavy gear, ambush attacks, and enduring the elements. It was designed to push us to our limits and beyond them, giving us the opportunity to show what we had learned during our six-month training and prove we had what it took to lead Marines into combat someday.
During The War, we slept in the sticks miles outside of the base, not allowed to return to the barracks for the duration of the exercise. There were night attacks, so at least two of us were always on duty, and we slept in shifts. Not that you could really sleep with your teeth chattering, though. The December air cut right through you.
We were on day four, and one guy in our platoon had already bailed.
“Shit, is that snow?” Tristen pointed up at the night sky.
Shivering, I looked up and groaned at the falling flakes. “Dammit.”
Quantico fucking sucked in the winter.
