Page 90 of His Temptation
I’d finally be away from that hellhole.
I texted Emery good night before putting the blanket over my head and closing my eyes.
Chapter 20
Emery
Have fun today.
I smiled at the text from Cason and put my phone back in my pocket. Ryan walked beside me, staring at the buildings we passed and looking a bit intimidated.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He scratched at the side of his head before sweeping another gaze around us. “Just not sure how I’ll ever find my classes. I need a map or something.”
“We can walk around and check it out after moving you in. I was nervous going to college too.”
“I don’t see how you survived law school,” Ryan said, shaking his head. “I heard it’s intense and everyone does drugs to get through it. I remember you coming home sometimes stressed the hell out.”
Having Ryan so young hadn’t stopped me and Amber from pursuing our careers. We’d made it work, and I had supported her in her decision to go to college too. I might not have been the best husband, but I had no regrets about how I’d raised Ryan.
“You made it better,” I said, squinting against the sun. “No matter how stressed I was, I loved coming home and seeing you.”
Ryan looked at the sidewalk. We passed a clock tower and walked through a courtyard where people were sprawled out on blankets enjoying the hot summer day. Guys threw a football back and forth, and in a field a ways away, I saw groups of people wearing cloaks and running with brooms.
“I’m sorry,” Ryan said, stopping beside a fountain and meeting my gaze. “For everything. I’ve been a shithead lately. That’s why I wanted you to come with me today. I don’t want to go off to college still so mad at you.”
“I understand why you were mad,” I said, feeling a fluttering of hope in my chest. “But I want you to know I didn’t keep it from you to hurt you. Coming out is different for each person, and I spent so long fighting with myself. I needed time.”
Ryan bumped my shoulder with his knuckles. “Okay, enough of this emotional crap. Let’s move in my shit so we can eat. I’m starving.”
I felt a shift in Ryan’s attitude after that conversation. He was really trying to make amends, and while it made me happy, it also worried me. I hated keeping yet another secret from him.
After finding his dorm, we carried the boxes up, and I helped him get settled in. His roommate was another player on his team named Milo, who had already moved in. The room was divided into two sections, with a bed, desk, and dresser for each of them. They shared a bathroom that connected to another room. At least they hadsomeprivacy.
“Dad, don’t make my bed,” Ryan said as I grabbed the sheets. “I can do it myself.”
“Okay.” I dropped the sheets and stepped back.
With his cheeks pink, he finished making it and tossed the comforter on top. Messily. My eye twitched a little, and I looked away, fighting the urge to fix it. He unpacked his laptop next and set it up at the desk as I hung up his clothes in the closet.
“Thanks for your help,” Ryan said, once we were finished moving him in. “I’m sorry again for…well, you know. Being such an asshole.”
“I don’t hold anything against you. You’re my son, and I love you no matter what.”
“I still don’t know how I feel about everything. With you being how you are.” Ryan sat on the bed and looked at the floor. “I hoped spending time with you would help me.”
“Has it?”
His gaze lifted and he shrugged. “Cas told me I shouldn’t treat you like shit because of it, and he was right. I don’t always do the right thing, Dad, but I’m trying to do better. Trying to be the kinda man you raised me to be.”
Emotion clogged in my throat, and I cleared it. “You ready to eat lunch?”
Ryan nodded, seemingly relieved at the change of topic. “Yeah.”
We still had a ways to go, but we were getting there. Ryan wasn’t blocking me out anymore, and it felt great to have my son back in my life. I just hoped he didn’t shut me out again once learning the truth about me and Cason.
“Any fun plans for tonight?” I asked Ryan, once we were at the restaurant. He’d wanted Chinese, so we’d gone to a place not far from campus.
