Page 24 of His Surrender
After picking up the check, I went back into the main part of the bar and headed for the door. Jay and his brother were now standing beside the women’s table, chatting them up. Ivan looked a bit uncomfortable while Jay was being his charming self.
I locked gazes with him before I left the bar, and briefly, his flirty persona faded. He looked almost hurt. Then, he returned his attention to the woman in front of him. She touched his forearm and squeezed, and he smirked at whatever she said.
I hadn’t thought he was into women.
Whatever. Doesn’t matter.
I walked home, fuming the entire way. I had no right to be mad. Jay had practically thrown himself at me and I’d rejected him, so my jealous behavior was irrational. Once inside my loft, I showered, spending extra time beneath the hot water, before changing into lounge pants and plopping down on my living room couch.
I then made the mistake of checking my social media, putting me even more into a funk. I had stayed friends with some of my ex-boyfriends, and it always hurt seeing them get into new relationships. One was going on boyfriend number five since dumping me not even eight months ago. Another was engaged. One even had a baby on the way—he was bisexual.
They had gone on to find love after destroying my notion of it.
Yep. I’m cursed.
“Screw this,” I muttered, as I exited out of that app and clicked on another—one I hadn’t checked in months.
To get somewhere new, I couldn’t stand in the same place. It was time for me to take that step forward and hope the fall didn’t bang me up too bad. It was the only way to move on.
I scrolled through the dating app, not interested in a majority of the men who came across my screen. Appearance only played a small part in it too, because most were very attractive. But none of them drew me in. They didn’t give me that spark.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” I said, recognizing one of the men. His face was mostly covered in the photo, but I knew him nonetheless. The freckle on his neck, right below his jaw, was unmistakable. I’d stared at it enough.
I typed out a message to him before I could stop myself.
Me:Shouldn’t be surprised to see you on here. This is like your hunting ground.
I was sure he was still at the bar with his brother and wouldn’t see the message until later, so I turned on the TV and waited. And waited some more. Maybe I should’ve added my name to the message? My profile made it fairly clear who I was. I had one black-and-white photo of my face, taken while in my favorite fedora, then another of me at the piano.
Maybe he went home with someone.
The thought dropped into my gut like a pound of lead. I didn’t want to imagine Jay rutting against someone else. It was stupid to think he wouldn’t, though. Guys like him fucked like rabbits.
Just as I was falling asleep to a cooking show, my phonedinged.
BlondBastard:And I shouldn’t be surprised to see what you chose as your username. Jazz Guy.
Me:Yours is interesting.
BlondBastard:Well, at least you think something about me is.
I smiled and then tried to force it away. This infuriating man didn’t deserve my time or attention, yet I couldn’t stay away. He was like a light in a pitch-black cave that I couldn’t help but notice, one I inched toward slowly. Little did I know that light was attached to a damn pair of sharp teeth that would devour me in an instant.
And, still, I ventured forward.
Me:I’m sorry for being rude earlier. I hope you and brother had a nice night at the bar.
Talking to Jay online was a lot easier than face-to-face. It made me less irritable. Probably because I wasn’t constantly trying to resist his many charms. He seemed more like a normal person this way.
BlondBastard:My mission to get him laid was a bust. I think he had fun though. Just dropped him off and I’m headed home.
Me:Those women looked pretty damn interested in you guys when I left. None of them took you up on your offer?
I hoped my bitterness didn’t come through in the message.
BlondBastard:Is that jealousy I sense, Mr. Barnett?
Okay. I was wrong. Talking to him online could be just as annoying. As I was debating on how to respond, another message came through.
