Page 64 of His Surrender
“You’re up early.”
I jumped at Remi’s voice, nearly dropping my phone.
“What’s wrong?” He stepped toward me. “Did something happen?”
“Something big,” I said, before pulling him in for a good-morning kiss. Our lips met slowly, and I came alive at the softness of his mouth. My mood had skyrocketed, both from the email and from having him in my arms. “We just had a major break in this trial. It could blow a hole through the defense’s case.”
“That’s great.” Remi gave me another kiss. “Does that mean you need to work today?”
Any other morning, I would’ve already been in the shower and getting ready to leave for the office after receiving such news. However, one look into his eyes stopped me.
“Just a little,” I answered, walking over to the coffee machine and taking two mugs from the cabinet above it. “I need to draft a submission for the new evidence and send a copy of it to Emery before the trial on Thursday. But not much else can be done on a weekend since the courts are closed.” I poured us each a cup of coffee and added sugar to mine. “How do you take your coffee?”
“With milk and sugar.”
“Comin’ right up,” I said, winking at him. He chuckled. I grabbed the milk from the fridge and poured a little into his mug before adding sugar and stirring it. “Try that.”
Remi took a drink and nodded in approval. “I like it. Are you going to be my personal barista this morning?”
“Yes.” I carried my cup to the kitchen table and sat down. “The first one’s on the house. But you’ll have to pay up for the second.”
“Oh yeah?” Remi joined me at the table, smiling as he lifted his cup to his mouth. “What do you take as currency?”
“Another blowjob will do.”
He nearly spit his coffee as he released a surprised snort.
I grinned before taking a drink of mine. On the inside, though, I was struggling. Him sucking me off the night before had mentally worn me down. I hadn’t even let Emery suck my dick before. “Thank you, by the way.”
“For what?”
Embarrassment had me averting my eyes to my cup. “For being patient with me last night.” It was too hard to say more than that.
Remi grabbed my hand. “You don’t have to thank me for that. I don’t expect you to tell me why you acted that way… but I’ll never hurt you, Jay. Never.”
Part of me believed him. The other part? Well, it remembered how Andrew had mentally beaten me down to an obedient little whore who did everything he was told. It was why I had such a problem letting go of control now.
“You hungry?” I stood from the table and turned my back to him. I was learning how to open up a little, but I still had a long way to go. And I had reached my limit of personal shit for the morning.
“Yeah,” he answered, and I didn’t need to see the expression on his face to know he was disappointed. I’d heard it all too clearly in his voice.
The awkwardness only got worse as the morning progressed. I cooked bacon and eggs, and we were quiet as we ate. There was so much I wanted to say—like how I’d enjoyed sleeping next to him and that I really liked the way he looked when he first woke up, his eyes still sleepy and his dark hair messy. Yet, I said nothing.
Everything was still so new with Remi. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing and fuck it all up. I also didn’t want to give him hope, just in case everything turned to shit. I was straddling the line of relationship and hookup, and one move in either direction could set us on a new course. Full speed ahead.
“I should probably go to my office for a while,” I said, after we’d finished eating and I had placed our plates in the sink.
“Okay.” Remi stood in the middle of the kitchen, his arms folded awkwardly across his bare chest. He’d snagged some of my sleep pants that morning, and they were baggy on him. “I don’t want to keep you from your work.”
Yep. So damn new.
I walked down the hall, trying to clear my muddled thoughts. I wished I could open up to Remi and romance the hell out of him, but every time I tried to get closer to him, I was reminded of why I kept everyone at a distance in the first place. I got in the shower, intending to quickly wash and get out, but then the glass door slid open.
“Is there room for one more?” Remi asked, sticking his head in.
I smiled and gripped the side of his neck. His pulse moved quickly under my palm. “For you, darlin’? Always.”
Remi stepped into the walk-in shower and pressed against me, his lips meeting mine in a slow kiss. He had a way of reading my mood so well. When I put up a wall, he chiseled at it, bit by bit, finding the weak spots in the ice.
