Page 71 of A Warrior's Heart
“Troy…”
“I know what I want, Mal.” I averted my eyes from his smoldering gaze and focused on his chest, my hands shaking as I unfastened one of the straps on his leather breastplate.
Malik watched me, silent, as I removed his armor and dropped it to the floor. Hesitantly, I glided my hands over the curve of his biceps and up to his wide shoulders. My fingertips skated across his collar bone and down the center of his chest. Beneath my hand, his heart was beating just as quickly as mine, but he remained frozen in place, letting me touch parts of him I had been too bashful to explore in the past.
“You’re so beautiful,” I whispered, tracing a light patch of freckles on his sun-kissed skin. Freckles I’d never noticed before. “Is this okay? Me touching you?”
“Yes.” His voice shook with that one word.
I skimmed a finger down his ribcage and to the dip of his stomach, outlining the ridges of muscle. He hardened beneath me, his cock filling and pressing against my ass.
The size of him caused a moment, albeit small, of apprehension. But the fear I normally carried when thinking of being sexually intimate with someone was nowhere to be found. I was nervous because I was inexperienced in the ways of sex. Not because I was afraid of Malik.
I could never be afraid of him.
“Do you wish to touch me?” I asked.
“Yes.” Malik’s chest rose and fell a bit faster, and he gripped the blanket under him.
“But you won’t?”
“Not until you ask for me to.”
He was giving me complete control, submitting to me. And Malik was the type of male to submit to no one. I brushed our lips together in a soft kiss. My body hummed at the feel of him beneath me, at the taste of his lips. He empowered me, gave me confidence.
“Thank you,” I said.
His eyes softened as he smoothed aside my bangs. “You need not ever thank me for respecting you.”
A surge of emotion welled up inside me. “I thought Varun broke me. For so many years, I hated looking at myself. I hated being in my skin. I saw my lips and remembered him touching them. I saw my hair and remembered him grabbing it. I hated every piece of myself.” Tears burned behind my eyes. “And then one day, you took me and Lor to the market. I was nine, maybe ten. I hid behind you and refused to let go of your hand.”
Malik linked our fingers, not taking his eyes off me.
“One of the merchants had a cart of trinkets that they’d gathered from the surface world,” I continued, visualizing that day so clearly in my mind. “A silver hair pin with a flower engraving caught my eye. It was meant for girls, but I didn’t care. I loved the way it gleamed in the light. And without me saying a word, you gave the merchant some coin and knelt down to place the pin in my hair.” A lump wedged in my throat. “When I saw my reflection, it was the first time I didn’t hate the face staring back at me. I felt beautiful.”
“Youarebeautiful.”
I rested my cheek on his shoulder and slipped my arms around his neck.
After that day, I’d begun to slowly come out of my shell. And eventually, I started designing my own clothes, wearing shimmery powders on my eyelids, and adorning my hair with flowers and jewelry. I still had the hair pin he’d bought for me too, tucked away in a box in my room in Avalontis. My one treasured item apart from my bow.
“You gave me back a piece of myself, Mal. You made me love myself again.” I looked down at him, mesmerized. Moonlight reflected off his luminescent eyes and bathed him in a silvery glow. “I’m the man I am today because of you.”
Malik leaned up to kiss me again, his arms slipping around my waist. That’s when I felt his lips trembling against mine. I kissed him deeper, my heart cracking a bit in my chest.
For seventeen years, I had kept so many things bottled up. Never speaking of Varun. Never letting myself truly face my demons and let them go. The internal scars Varun had left behind would never fully heal. Yet, they were proof that I’d survived. I was tired of letting them hold me back from living. From loving.
Because I deserved love. I deserved happiness. And Malik made me so happy. Even if he could be a big grump with a deep scowl.
I smiled against his lips. He wasmybig grump.
“Touch me,” I panted against his eager mouth. “Please, Mal. I want to know how wonderful it can be.”
A shudder rippled through him before he captured my mouth in a heated kiss. His fingers dipped below the hem of my shirt and lifted it up and over my head. Of course I was nervous. But I wanted this. I wanted him. Chills spread along my skin, a contrast to the heat gathering in my core.
“If it becomes too much, you tell me to stop,” he growled, grabbing my chin. “Tell me you will.”
“I will.”
