Page 61 of Perfectly Us
The center of my chest tingles at that.
“Do you like to read?” I ask, following him over to the fantasy section. We’ve talked about movies and music before but never books.
“Sometimes.” Alex grabs a book off the shelf and flips through it. “I’m big intoLord of the Rings. Both the books and the movies. Clay and I used to binge-watch them all the time.” His expression falls as he places the book back. “But anyway.”
He hasn’t talked about his brother a whole lot, but there are times like now when something slips. Each instance leaves him a little sad. It reminds me of when the sun goes behind a cloud, shadows replacing the bright golden light.
“Do you want a muffin?” I ask, nodding to the barista station where a sign advertises freshly made pastries, muffins, and cookies.
Alex grins, and the sun comes out once more. “Hell yeah I do.”
His stomach is bottomless. I don’t know where he puts it all. It’s just one of the many mysteries surrounding Alex Davenport. The first one being why my soul calms in his presence. He makes me forget about the things that weigh me down.
“You’re smiling again,” Alex says before taking a massive bite out of a chocolate chip muffin. We’re sitting at a table in the corner, a large window beside us.
I flick a crumb from the corner of his lip, saying nothing.
“Can I ask you something?” Alex eats the rest of the muffin, then wipes at his mouth. “When you talked to your dad… about us…” He shakes his head. “Never mind.”
“Tell me.”
Green eyes flicker back to mine. “Look, I don’t need a label or anything. Not really. I’m a go-with-the-flow kinda guy. But.” He moves his hands around a lot as he talks. “What are we, Shi? It’s okay if you don’t know yet or if you’re experimenting or whatever. I just… I wanna know what I am to you. I wanna know if this thing between us means to you what it does to me.”
“What does it mean to you?”
“More than hanging out,” he answers, his tone less confident than usual. “Definitely more than friends.” Pink touches his cheeks. “I know you’re just now realizing things about yourself, and you probably needwaymore time to figure it out. I mean, you made out with me in front of all my friends, so I don’t think you have any issue if youaregay or whatever, but—”
“Alex?” I reach across the table and grab his hand. “Take a breath.”
“Sorry.” He laughs and lifts his other hand to comb his fingers through the front of his light brown hair. I’m not used to seeing Alex so shy. It’s endearing. “I just like you, Shi. A lot.”
“I like you too.”
Our fingers link, and his palm is a little clammy. I don’t mind it though. For the first time since we met, I think I’m the one keeping my composure better than him, which is pretty much a miracle in and of itself.
When something’s important to me, likereallyimportant, I seem to find courage I didn’t know I had. And Alex is important to me. I might not understand everything, but that much is crystal clear.
I don’t want to let him go.
Chapter Thirteen
Alex
I’ve never been so nervous around a guy before.
Right when it registered how much I really like Shiloh, my stupid brain decided to tap out and leave me hanging in the ring with nothing but the frantic pounding of my heart and gross, sweaty palms. Palms I try to inconspicuously wipe off on my pants leg as we leave the bookstore.
We move down the sidewalk at a leisurely pace, no destination in mind. Our fingers brush together as we walk, sending little sparks of electricity through me. My chest gets hot, and that heat spreads up to my neck, the blood rushing in my ears. I’m hyperaware of him beside me, more so than usual.
“Can I hold your hand?” I ask.
Shiloh smiles down at me before threading our fingers together. That one action—and the ease in which he does it—makes my stomach flutter like crazy.
“You know, people might think you’re gay if they see us,” I say.
“I don’t care what they think.”
“Really?” He told me once that his anxiety makes him paranoid that he’ll say the wrong thing and that people will judge him.
