Page 1 of Perfectly Us
Chapter One
Alex
A man is being murdered in theater seven.
Okay, not literally being murdered. He’s an actor in the horror movie that just released. But damn, the dude’s yells hit my ears full force as I open the auditorium door and make my way down the dark hallway toward the theater full of people.
“Jesus, no!” the dude screams.
A chainsaw roars to life.Vroom-vroooom. More screaming, followed by the wet sound of blood splattering.
I curl my nose and keep my eyes away from the screen as I reach the end of the hall. Gazing up at the rows of seats, I see girls tucked against their dates’ sides and holding their hands over their faces. Some of the guys cringe, though it’s obvious they’re trying to pretend it doesn’t bother them. Trying to be big, macho tough guys and all that shit.
Holding my clipboard, I find the theater number on the sheet. Fifty-seven tickets were sold tonight. One of my duties as an usher is to check the movies in each of the eight theaters and do a head count, just to make sure no one snuck in. If the numbers are off, I have to report to my boss.
I count fifty-five. Two people must’ve been in the bathroom or at the concession stand, which is normal. Being under the number was fine; it’s only an issue if there are more than that. That’s when I have to put on my bouncer-pants and kick them out.
Not really. I mean, Idohave to ask to see their ticket, then kick them out if they don’t have one, but I don’t puff out my chest like the huge muscle-heads do in clubs and throw them out the door, all while wearing sunglasses at night and showing my bulging pecs and biceps.
Mainly because I don’t have biceps.
Or bulging pecs.
“They’re all dead!” a girl screams from the movie.
I look at the screen right as her head is sliced down the middle with the damn chainsaw. Then it does that super gross thing where her body splits in two and makes thatsquishsound as the pieces fall to the grass.
A hand clamps around my arm.
I scream, which causes people sitting closest to the aisle to scream too, and flip around to see my buddy Ruben.
“Shh,” he says, putting a finger to his lips for emphasis even though the damage was already done. I’ve scarred people for life, I’m sure. “Otto needs you upstairs. The projector for theater two is fucking up again.”
With him at my side, I leave the auditorium, the door thumping closed behind us as we step out into the main hallway.
Movie posters line the walls in glowing glass cases, and overhead music plays. My boss plays a lot of ’80s music. Which is… fine, I guess. But after hearing “Take On Me” five million times, it starts to get a little old.
No pun intended.
“Give me that.” Ruben takes my clipboard. “I’ll count the last theater while you deal with the shit upstairs.”
I wear many hats at work. Usher, box office cutie, and I’m the projection manager.
Ruben mainly works in the concession stand, but he helps me clean theaters and stuff after the movies. He’s also my best friend. I knew we were destined to be best buddies for life on the first day of kindergarten when I forgot my lunch and he gave me one of the tamales from his little lunchbox. It was also the day I said I was going to marry his mom because it was the best tamale I ever had.
We all laugh about that now.
“Thanks, Alex!” Otto shouts as I run past him and head upstairs.
I take the steps up to the projection room and close the door behind me. It’s dark and kind of creepy, but there’s something oddly comforting about it too: the silence, nothing but the low hum of the machines. Lights flicker from the various theater screens as I pass the glass windows on my way to number two’s projector.
The movie’s frozen. Again.
Our movie theater, much like my boss, is old-fashioned. We only recently moved to digital, so things are glitchy sometimes. Oh yeah, I used to string the huge bulky rolls of film through the machine. One wrong move and the whole movie would mess up.
I thanked the movie theater gods the day I heard we were leaving the dark ages and going digital.
Luckily, the movie was still on previews when it froze, so it won’t put us too far behind schedule for the later shows. I tinker with it, then wait to make sure it runs smoothly and doesn’t freeze again before checking the other screens.
