Page 58 of Perfectly Us
Shortly after, Dad comes downstairs. He jumps when he comes into the kitchen and sees me.
“You’re up early,” he says. “Aren’t you off work today?”
“Yeah.” I try to make sense of what I just saw. “I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep.”
“Ah.” Dad clears his throat and goes over to open the fridge, peering inside. “Waffles and scrambled eggs sound good for breakfast?”
“Sure.”
I grab the carton of eggs and a skillet from the bottom cabinet while he plugs in the waffle iron and grabs a mixing bowl. I want to ask him about the guy, but I can tell he’s freaked-out enough as it is. He didn’t expect me to be awake.
My mind’s having trouble processing it all. I was five when my mom died from breast cancer. I don’t remember her much, except for how she smelled like strawberries and smiled a lot. Dad never dated anyone else. Not anyone I ever knew about anyway.
Is the guy I saw the one who also gave him that hickey a month ago?
I might be inexperienced with sex, but I’m not an idiot. No merefriendwould sleep over and quietly leave the next morning. Friend with benefits maybe. No. It feels like more than that.
The way the guy smiled… he looked happy.
“Hey, Dad?” I crack open an egg in a glass bowl, then another, and toss the shells into the trash. “I hope you know you can talk to me. About anything.”
He sharply exhales and hangs his head, hands braced on the counter. “You saw him leave, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.” I wash my hands once the eggs are all cracked and then use a fork to whisk them in the bowl. “Kinda hard not to. The door’s right there.”
He stares at the waffle maker. Frozen.
“He’s handsome,” I say.
Dad chuckles, but there’s a nervous edge to it. “Yeah. He is.”
“Is he the one you’ve been going out drinking with?”
“Yes.”
I feel there’s more he wants to say, but maybe he can’t find the right words. I understand that. I can’t always find them either.
“Is he your boyfriend?”
He exhales again, and I notice his hand trembling. “We, uh… we haven’t made anything official. We’re just seeing each other at the moment. Seeing where things go.” After adding the batter to the waffle iron and shutting the top, he turns to me. “I didn’t want you finding out like this, kid. I was trying to figure out a way to tell you, but every time I tried, I…” He blows out a breath. “I chickened out.”
“Why? Did you think I’d get upset?”
“No. Not exactly.” He runs a hand through his hair. “It’s just… this is a part of my life I’ve always kept hidden. Even from your mom. I hate to say it, but I was ashamed for a long time. I went through a lot of self-hatred. I thought if I ignored it, these feelings would go away. But then I met Jesse, and well…”
“He makes you happy?”
Dad nods. “Very.”
“That’s all that matters.” I turn back to the stove and stir the eggs in the skillet. I think about the warmth in my chest when I’m around Alex and how my heart beats a little faster. He takes my breath away sometimes. “Alex makes me happy.”
It’s not the most obvious of confessions, but I hope he can read between the lines.
When Dad doesn’t say anything, I peer over at him. Tears glisten in his eyes as he stares at me. And then he steps forward and pulls me in for a tight hug.
“I didn’t know,” he says, still hugging me. “I didn’t know you and Alex were…”
“I didn’t know either until recently.” A wave of anxiety trickles through me, making the tips of my ears tingle. In not so many words, I’ve just come out to my dad. But he’s just come out to me too. I step over to check the eggs. “I’m still trying to understand it all. It’s kinda confusing.”
