Page 69 of Bellamy
“Don’t press your luck, demon.” Alastair’s jaw clenched. “If not for my brother claiming you as his mate, your head would already be removed from your shoulders.”
Bellamy tensed, and he squeezed my hand.
“Can I get another coffee first?” I asked, realizing I didn’t have much of a choice. The more they knew, the better chance they had at defeating Asa—something I wanted now too, thanks to the male holding my hand. “This is going to be a long day.”
***
Dark water lightly crashed against the base of the cliff. The storm had cleared, taking the clouds with it. The moon and stars lit the darkness, though it was different than the night sky I’d stared up at so many times in the underworld.
Bellamy sat beside me, his wings fanning behind him as the breeze caressed his feathers. He had flown us to the cliff after his brothers left for patrol.
Most of the day had been spent in Alastair’s study. I told them what I knew about Asa and the fallen angels, as well as the reaper situation and how Asa had tricked them with the clever wording of his deal. I told them pretty much everything.
I had officially betrayed my king.
“Do you care about him?” Bellamy asked, breaking the silence. “About Asa?”
“No. Yet, I still feel…” I struggled to find the words.
“Like a traitor?”
I nodded once. “Yeah. I guess so.” I pulled my knees up and rested my arms on them. “I started sleeping with him because he was the new king of the underworld. Being in his bed granted me a certain amount of power myself. And then I kept doing it for other reasons. To keep him happy. To have value. He was never gentle. I don’t think I wanted him to be. But…” Something clogged in my throat. “Perhaps a very small part of me hated how he fucked me hard and then cast me aside like I was nothing afterward.”
“Sex shouldn’t be like that,” Bellamy whispered.
“It’s the only way it’s been for me.” My chest warmed at the memory of how gently he took me the night before. “Well… before you anyway.”
That made him smile, but it was a little sad. “It’s the one good thing about Lust. He lets me see my partner’s desires. What they want and how they want it. The negative side to my sin? When I have to use my special skill. I hate it.”
When he used that skill, he released pheromones that made everyone around him powerless to resist him. Belphegor had told me about it.
“Do you have to use it often?” It was hard to breathe. In such a short time, my possessiveness over him had increased tenfold.
I didn’t want him touching anyone else.
“Not so much anymore,” he answered, his gaze fixated on the sea. “Once we caged Lucifer, my brothers and I all vowed to never use our negative abilities again. But I had to use it when we tracked Belphegor a few months ago. There were guards outside his castle that I had to distract so Raiden and Galen could slip inside without raising the alarm. I released the pheromones to make the demons sex-crazed.” He released a shaky breath. “When I have to do it, I dissociate from everything and give Lust total control. Still, I always feel wrong afterward. And I can never feel clean enough, no matter how hard I scrub my skin.”
The raw ache in his voice sliced across my chest.
Comforting people was unfamiliar territory for me. I never cared enoughtocomfort anyone. But this blond Nephilim with his sad voice and even sadder eyes had found a way past my barriers.
I scooted closer and slid my palm against his, clasping our hands together. His right wing furled around my shoulder. The feathers were soft. Warm too. Not sure I deserved either of those things. We stayed like that for a while, staring off the cliff.
“Tell me something,” he said, voice tight.
“Like what?”
“Anything.” He lifted his gaze to the moon. “Just talk. Please.”
He needed a distraction.
“I remember a time when you threatened to kill me if I said another word. Now look at you.”
Bellamy softly laughed. It was a bit broken. “Yeah, I’m out of my goddamn mind apparently. I don’t get close to people. Fucking? Sure. But I don’t do this.”
“Do what?”
He looked at me. “Let my heart get involved.”
