Page 135 of Alastair
Had I been wrong to confess my love to him? Did he not feel the same? He felt strong enough to mark me as his mate. The bite on my neck was proof of that. But possession and love were different.
“Say it again,” he finally whispered, his arms locking around my waist. “Please.”
My worries evaporated into the air. Relief settled over my chest, easing the tight grip on my sternum. I tipped his chin up so I could look him in the eye. “I love you, Alastair. So much it frightens me.”
“Pride has never allowed me to love anyone more than I love myself. In every relationship, I cared for them, but they never owned my heart.” He glided his fingers up my spine, tracing the grooves of my scars. “But I loveyou, Lazarus. More than I ever expected or thought was possible.”
“More than Joseph?”I asked, resorting to telepathy because if I tried to talk, my voice would crack. I wanted his answer but dreaded it too.
“Yes.”
My heart felt heavy. “You answered that quickly.”
Alastair kissed the scar on my shoulder. “I cared for Joseph, but what I feel for you? It goes beyond reason. Beyond every rational thing on this earth. When I say I love you, what I really mean is my breaths are yours. Every beating of my heart is yours. You own me in a way no one else ever has or ever will.”
His words brought tears to my eyes, and I blinked them away.
“Pride loves you too,” he added. “Don’t you see, you infuriating angel? We’re both head over heels for you.”
Evidence of that love shone in his eyes right then. Just as I was sure it did in mine as I stared back at him. I brought his face in for a gentle kiss. The rush of the waterfall was a backdrop to our beating hearts. Ones that beat in sync, both a little frantic but excited too.
Love. Who knew it could be so painful and frightening yet also be the one thing to make me feel so complete.
After leaving the water and drying off, we returned to the bungalow, where we fell into bed together. Not for sex. I wanted to hold him… for as long as I could. I pulled him against me and listened to his soft exhales. So much time had been lost. What I wouldn’t give for the chance to do it all over again.
I would choose him sooner.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Alastair murmured. He lay in the nook between my arm and side, his head on my chest.
“I’m thinking…” I turned more into him. “How I never want to leave this bed.” My soul cracked a bit. Ached for the wholeness that came from fully binding yourself to a fated mate. “I want to perform the mating ritual and join our souls.”
He lifted his head to look at me. “No.”
“No?”
“If we can’t return to our bodies, the last thing I want is your soul crying for mine. It’s bad enough my brothers’ mates will go through it. I don’t want you to as well. You’ll never be able to move on from me if you do.”
I scoffed. “You honestly believe I could move on from you now?” I rolled on top of him and grabbed his chin. “Such a silly, beautiful boy. Whether we’re fully bound together as mates or not, there will never be anyone else for me. My soul will always cry out for yours.” I rested my head on his. “My heart will too.”
“I’ll make you a promise, then,” he said. “When the war is over, we’ll complete the mating ritual. Our lives, our souls, will become intertwined. As lovers. As husbands.”
“As mates,” I said.
“Forever. That’s what I’m promising you.”
I slid my hand beneath his head. “I’ll hold you to that promise.”
We kissed then. Soft and unrushed. Sealing the vow.
“We will win this war, Laz.”
“Yes,” I said. “But victory means nothing if you aren’t by my side afterward. So you better not break your promise. You better return to me.”
“I’ll always return to you.” He glided his nose along my jaw. “You’re my home.”
He was mine too.
Raiden called us a few hours later and invited us to his and Titan’s house for dinner. Bellamy and Daman had returned to the island with their mates, as had the others. When Alastair and I arrived, we joined everyone on the back porch.
