Page 47 of Alastair
“He’s still an asshole,”Pride grumbled.
I took another breath, processing everything.
I sensed them the moment they stepped from the tree line. Seven different-colored threads glowed brighter in my mind’s eye.
“Is this an intervention?” I asked without turning from the water.
“Does it need to be?” Galen responded. “An ass whoopin’ might work. Anything to get you to finally talk to us.”
“I’d settle for an apology for the shit you pulled in Echo Bay,” Bellamy said. “Followed by an ass beating for good measure.”
“You two are so violent,” Castor added. “But if we’re making requests, I’ll happily forget everything if you buy me a boat. Not one of those cheap ones either. I want it to be expensive and fast.”
“A boat?” Raiden asked. “Can we use it to fish? Nothin’ tastes better than somethin’ ya caught with your own two hands.”
“Do you even know where pizza lives, Ray?” Daman asked.
Gray giggled.
Finally, I faced them. My brothers had come without their mates. This was a conversation we needed to have in private. They stood waiting for me to say something.
“You wish to know about Lucifer,” I finally said. “What if I’d rather not discuss it?”
“Tough shit, Pride.” Galen crossed his arms over his chest. Referring to each other by our sins usually only happened when one of us was either pissed off or teasingly jabbing at the other. Given his glare, it was definitely the former. “You’re going to tell us anyway.”
“I don’t appreciate the attitude, Wrath.” He wasn’t the only one with bite.
His stormy gray eyes flickered to black before returning to their normal shade. He had control over his sin, but Wrath was there beneath his skin, scratching and searching for a way out.
I then met the eyes of the others. Raiden gave an encouraging smile. Daman glared, as always. Gray slowly blinked. Kallias nodded once. For so long, I’d worked hard to shut them out when it came to certain aspects of my life. But it was clear that after thousands of years, it was time to finally open up to them.
Being so emotionally vulnerable terrified me. Pretending that part of my past didn’t exist was easier.
I couldn’t pretend anymore.
“Very well.” I released a breath. “Let’s get this over with. What would you like to know?”
Castor stepped forward first. “Everything. You’ve barely told us shit, Al.”
“We never pressed you on it.” Raiden rested a hand on his opposite bicep. An awkward stance to match the awkwardness of the situation. “’Cause we didn’t wanna upset you or anything.”
“I didn’t have that concern,” Galen said, not relaxing his hostile posture in the least. “I couldn’t give two shits if it upset him. But he still wouldn’t tell me.”
“Because you knowing wouldn’t have changed anything,” I responded. “You’re all behaving like I’ve kept a deep, dark secret. You all know Lucifer raised me for the first eight years of my life. What else is there to say?”
They merely stared at me, waiting for me to say more.
“We all have a past,” I continued. “Gray traveled with Belphegor’s army. Hell, he lived in the army encampment and dined with the demons and soldiers that made up that army. Castor loved his father, who commanded armies that destroyed villages and innocent lives. Why is my situation with Lucifer so different?”
My voice rose as I spoke. Instead of the cool tone I normally used, it now had a raw gruffness that showed the hidden emotion beneath like an exposed nerve. It hurt like it too.
“You want to know the difference?” Daman studied me. “Gray has talked about his childhood. He’s cried, gotten angry, and talked through the confusing shit in his head. He’s leaned on us about being conflicted over his feelings for Belphegor, just like Cas has about his home life. But you?”
“You’ve kept that shit bottled up,” Bellamy said, finishing Daman’s statement. Their close bond allowed them to read each other like that, their minds often on the same frequency. “Fuck, Al. You haven’t confided inanyoneabout this. You’ve kept it locked up tight. How in the hell are you still sane? Aren’t you tired of bearing the brunt of that weight alone?”
“Let us help you carry it.” Raiden moved toward me, then stopped when I tensed and stepped back on impulse. One comforting touch from him might be the thing that shattered my composure for good.
“I’ve carried it fine for all these years,” I said, the crack in my voice exposing more of the emotions I’d hid for as long as I could remember. Like putting a Band-Aid over a much bigger problem and hoping it went away.
