Page 33 of Marry in Secret
“Send someone with a note. I’m staying with my friend Ollie. Your brother has the address.”
She sniffed. “You don’t imagine Cal would give it to me, do you? Don’t you have a card?”
He fished in his pocket and pulled out the card Ollie had given him, memorized the address and handed the card to her. “I meant what I said. You owe me nothing. Think carefully about what you want.”
She followed with a mutinous expression. “And if I already know what I want?”
His face was grim. “Think again. Listen to your family, Rose. Make the wise decision. Take theannulment.”
Chapter Five
All the privilege I claim for my own sex... is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone.
—JANE AUSTEN,PERSUASION
The front door shut behind Thomas. “I’m sorry, Rose. Cal would have come except we—well, Emm—decided it would be better if I—” Lily broke off. “Rose, you’ve been crying.”
“I know.” She was exhausted and yet...
“But... you never cry.”
“I know.” She hesitated, then added, “I haven’t been able to. Not properly. Not for the last four years.”
Lily’s eyes widened as she took in the implications of that. “You mean...?”
Rose nodded. “I think I must have bottled it all up. But just now, when Thomas and I were talking, the tears just... came. I couldn’t help it. I wept all over him, Lily, noisily and messily—years’ worth of tears just pouring out of me.” The violence and intensity of it had shocked her. But now she felt strangely calm. Wrung out, but calm.
She pressed her palms to her cheeks, still trying to take in all that had happened. “I’d forgotten crying could do that.”
“Do what?”
“Be such a... such a relief. Afterward.” Not during. During had been terrifying.
Lily laid a worried hand on her arm. “Are you all right now?”
Rose nodded. “It was quite frightening at first—I couldn’t seem to stop, Lils. It was like something had taken me over. I wasn’t in control at all.” She hated losing control, but there was no denying that something had loosened inside her. She felt somehow cleansed. Except...
If only Thomas hadn’t stopped her from telling him everything...
Lily hugged her. “I know. But you’ll be all the better for it, trust me.”
Rose wasn’t so sure.
“How did he take it? They say most men hate women crying—well, you know how Cal is—but Edward doesn’t seem to mind a bit.”
“You don’t fake tears with Edward, do you?” Rose asked curiously. Lily had the ability to weep at will. It had proven useful in their early disputes with their brother. Cal simply fell apart at the first sign of feminine tears.
“No, ofcoursenot. I’d never do that to him. Though it’s tempting, because the few times I have cried in front of him... Oh, he’s just lovely, Rose. So tender. And afterward...” Her lips curved in a tender, secret smile.
Rose understood. She couldn’t put words to the way it felt, having Thomas just holding her so quietly, patting her back so awkwardly and sweetly with his big battered hands. He was, she suspected, as appalled as Cal but trying to hide it. She’d felt the tension in him.
If they’d been truly married again, if they’d had a bedroom to retreat to...
Instead he’d become all bossy and officious, moving physically away from her, telling her to put the past behind her, to forget what happened, and forget him. Why? What had changed?
“I think Cal hit Thomas,” she told Lily. “On the way here. Thomas’s poor jaw has a nasty bruise. He wouldn’tadmit it, of course, but I could see perfectly well that it was fresh. It was changing color right before my eyes.”
“I’ll ask Edward about it. But why would Cal hit him, and then bring him here? It doesn’t make sense.”
