Page 46 of The Heiress's Daughter
“No, I didn’t.”
“She painted these wonderful murals in the little girls’ rooms. She showed me the other day. I started to tell you, but then that man was there with you and I didn’t know what to do.” Her face scrunched as she added, “I made a mess of things with him, didn’t I?”
“No you didn’t—and it’s quite all right. Lord Randall is Izzy’s husband’s best friend. He knows the truth about you and he will be discreet.”
Zoë snorted. “What truth? None of us knows the truth about me, not even me.”
“Have faith, little sister, have faith,” Clarissa said. “And of course you may visit Lucy. In fact, I’ll come with you. There’s something I’d like to talk over with Lady Tarrant. I’ll just send a note around to see if it’s convenient.”
Lady Tarrant sent a note back saying she’d be delighted to have some company, so Clarissa and Zoë crossed the garden, waving to the three little girls who were playing outside under the supervision of their nanny, and went in by the back door. Zoë and Lucy immediately took themselves upstairs to look at a new painting Lucy had started.
Lady Tarrant was in a sunny room at the back of the house, knitting tiny garments in soft white wool. Clarissa exclaimed over the fine work and inquired about how Lady Tarrant was feeling. “Weary of waiting, my dear, and excited at the same time. And possibly a little bit nervous—this is my first, you know. And I’m quite old.”
Clarissa supposed all first-time mothers were nervous, and she’d heard other women telling Lady Tarrant about the agonies of birth, almost relishing the drama of it, which wasn’t at all helpful. “I’m sure everything will go perfectly,” she said warmly. “And you’ll be a wonderful mother, I know. Look at the way your little stepdaughters adore you.”
Lady Tarrant smiled. “They can’t wait for the arrival of their new little brother or sister.”
Tea and biscuits arrived and the two ladies settled down for a good chat. They talked of many things; the weather, Clarissa’s drive in the park with Mrs. Price-Jones and Mr. Clayborn, a new play that was showing, which neither of them had seen, and more, until finally Alice said, “Now, what is it you really wanted to talk to me about?”
Clarissa sighed. “Is it that obvious?”
Lady Tarrant laughed. “Not really, but I can tell something is on your mind. Is it about one of your suitors? I gather you’ve been seeing a lot of Mr. Clayborn. And also Lord Randall, among others.”
Clarissa pursed her lips, not knowing quite how to explain the turmoil of her thoughts.
“You don’t have to marry any of them, you know,” Lady Tarrant said softly. “Oh, I know everyone is no doubt pressing you to make a choice, but you’re not obliged to marry, especially since you are well enough off not to need a husband to support you.”
“Yes, I know, but I do want to marry. I want a family of my own, and children. It’s just…” She shook her head as if to shake it free of the clamor of her thoughts. “It’s all so difficult. How does one know whether a man is the right one for you or not? How does one know that the face he shows you is his true one? How can one tell if a man is sincere—especially when one has a fortune? And how can I be sure a man will be faithful?”
Lady Tarrant thought for a moment. The only sound in the room was the clicking of her knitting needles. “It isdifficult, I know. And I can’t answer your questions. You’re quite right: marriage is a gamble and it behooves a young lady to make her choice very carefully.” Which wasn’t at all helpful.
Clarissa sipped her tea. “How did you find Lord Tarrant?”
“Oh, my dear, I didn’t. He found me, and I can confess to you now that I wasn’t at all happy about it at first.”
“Really? Why not?”
“I had no intention of ever marrying again. My first marriage was…not a happy one, and once I was widowed, I was planning on a life of peace and solitude.” Shrieks of childish laughter wafting in from the garden made her chuckle. “You see how that plan turned out. And I’m so thankful for it.”
“So what happened?”
“James simply refused to give up on me. I suppose you could say he wore me down—oh, don’t look at me like that. He didn’t push me into anything, far from it. He was very gentle and respectful of my fears and anxieties, and gradually he convinced me that he would be nothing like my first husband.”
She finished the row she was knitting and turned the tiny garment around. “And, you know, I couldn’t help but like him—well, you’ve seen how he is with his daughters. And I expect you’ve noticed that he’s very attractive.”
Clarissa smiled. Lord Tarrant was indeed a handsome man. And seeing him with his daughters had been a real eye-opener for her and Izzy—that a father could be so openly affectionate.
Lady Tarrant continued, “So gradually he allayed my fears.” She glanced at Clarissa and lowered her voice. “If I tell you this, you’ll keep it confidential?”
Clarissa nodded. “Of course.”
“I asked the advice of an older friend, a lady whose marriage was very happy.” She knitted on for a minute. Colorrose in her cheeks. “She advised me to…to, um, experiment.”
“Experiment?”
Lady Tarrant nodded. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this—it’s not exactly proper—but I know you have no older lady to advise you. Oh, there’s Lady Scattergood, of course, and your chaperone, but I never had the impression that Lady Scattergood enjoyed her marriage.”
Clarissa smiled. “No, not until her husband was on the other side of the world.”
