I roll my eyes.
Theo and I spend the next ten minutes going through various drawers and cabinets, rifling through papers and old files that probably don’t even matter. There’s a glittery blue purse on the floor. Every now and then, our eyes meet, and it sends a weird flutter through my chest. I ignore it.
Then something catches my eye.
A bright orange folder on the desk next to Theo. I pick it up. There’s a date range scribbled on the corner.
10/21/22-10/28/22.
I open it. It’s a list of names. Each one with an address and a phone number next to it.
“Looks like some kind of list,” Theo says, resting his chin on the top of my head.
I don’t bother shoving him off. I keep flipping through the pages. And then I see it. One name. Two words. Ten letters: Nate Lawson.
For a second, everything feels still, as if the world has frozen around me. The air grows heavier. Almost like the weight of something is pressing down on me. My chest feels tight and unbearable.
This cannot be happening. I mean, I know it’s why Theo brought me here to begin with, but it never felt real. Not until now.
I don’t even realize when Theo takes the list from my hands and sits on the desk, facing me. “Huh. I was right about his address. It matches the one on my note.”
He’s holding the list in one hand while the other lightly grips the sleeve of my sweater. Like he’s anchoring me from falling off the edge of some metaphorical cliff. My gaze stays locked on a random spot on the floor, and I have to remind myself to breathe.
“Come on.” He stands, shoving the list into his jacket pocket and using his other hand to pull me toward the exit. “Let’s get this over with.”
I pull back, my feet rooted to the ground. “No.”
Theo frowns. “What?”
A lump forms in my throat and I press my tongue hard against the roof of my mouth, trying to push it down. “I won’t do it, Theo.” I shake my head, finally locking eyes with him. “You won’t make me.”
“Holly, we have to —”
“No, we don’t have to do anything. Tell whoever you want about us, I’m not going there. I won’t see him.” My voice barely holds.Please don’t make me.
Tears push at the corners of my eyes. I force them back in. I just want to leave. I want to get as far away from this place as possible and never ever return.
Theo’s expression softens. Everything feels wrong. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be on his fucking street. The image flashes through my mind without any warning. One after the other, merging into each other like a fucking slideshow from hell.Her limp body. Bloodied arms. Slashed wrists. Empty eyes. She used to be light and laughter, but now, she’s onlythis. The memory claws its way in, hitting me in flashes.Her lifeless body. Nate’s vile smile. Her blood. His lies. Her gone.
No. No, no,NO.
I won’t let him invade her memory.
She doesn’t belong in the same thought as him. Theo’s wrong. I don’t need to see him. I’ll just do what I’ve always done. I’ll find others like him and tear them apart piece by piece, and that will be enough for me. It has to be.
The scar on my thigh burns. I wince, sucking in a sharp breath.
Theo reaches for me again. “Love —”
The sound of a car door slamming cuts through the stillness. I freeze. Theo pulls me closer to him. We tiptoe towards the exit like a couple of cartoon cats, careful not to make a single sound. Once we reach the side door, Theo leans out, poking his head through just a fraction.
“I can’t see a thing,” he mutters, frowning.
“Maybe because you’re a fucking idiot,” I push past him, stealing a quick glance. “Shit, me neither.”
“Really? I thought most serial killers had built-in night vision.”
I smack his head. He grins.