Page 43 of The Night Shift
April is not.
If I had ended up taking my own life all those years ago, I know for a fact that she wouldn’t have survived losing me.
She might be my older sister, but I’ve always been the one who’s had to look out for her.
I couldn’t do that to her. I couldn’t leave her all alone. No matter how much I wanted to.Are there times when I wish I was just as important to someone? Yes. I know it’s selfish to even think like this, but I wish Aanya would have thought twice before leavingmeall alone. Everyone I love has someone they love even more. I have never been anyone’s first choice. People matter to me, but I don’t matter to anyone. I’ve never been the most important thing to another person. Not to Aanya. Not to my sister. Not even to myself.
Sometimes I feel like I’m cursed. Maybe I’m not meant for this. Friends. People. And maybe that’s okay. Eventually, we all end up alone, right? I just have a head start, that’s all.
The doorbell rings.
I flinch, disoriented.
April says something and my gaze, locked in a daze, remains fixed on her, uncomprehending. “Hello? Earth to Holly?” She snaps her fingers in front of my face, jolting me back to reality, her voice flowing through my ears like jelly.
I blink, the room coming back into focus. I clear my throat. “What…what did you say?” My voice sounds rusty, disused.
April’s brow furrows. “The door, Holly.”
“The door?”
“Yes. The doorbell just rang.”
The loud heartbeat in my ears reminds me of where I am. I glance towards the bedroom door that opens into the hallway.The doorbell. Right. I shake my head, a hand running through my hair in frustration. “Yeah um, no. Absolutely not. I don’t want anyone to see me in this dress.”
“People are going to see you in this dress at my wedding anyway. Think of it as practice.”
“Why can’t you get the door?”
“Because it’s going to take me a while to change out of this. Please?”
“What if it’s Parker? Aren’t you scared I might hurt him for making fun of me?” Which given what I’m wearing, won’t really be his fault, but I’ll still enjoy cutting him a little.
“It’s not Parker. I’d never risk trying on my wedding dress if he was at home.”
“Why not?”
“Because he can’t see me like this before the wedding. It’s bad luck.”
“That’s an outdated and misogynistic tradition. And what do you mean he’s not at home? Where is he?” I know he’s not at work. Parker works as a stunt double and April is a celebrity publicist. Both of their work schedules can get pretty unpredictable, which is why they’ve taken this whole week off for wedding prep.
The bell rings again.
“He’s taken Dog to KittyCon,” April says, growing impatient. “Now can you please go open the door?”
“What the fuck is KittyCon?”
“Holly!”
“Fine,” I grumble. “But if it’s your fiancé on the other side of that door and if he laughs at me, I won’t be held responsible for my actions.”
April ignores me and I drag my feet out of her room. The doorbell rings again.
“Coming!” Jesus. I reach for the doorknob and pull it open, immediately wanting to slam it shut again.
Thick black hair, chiseled cheekbones sloping down to a square jaw and deep blue eyes staring right into mine.
“Theo?”
