Page 88 of The Night Shift
Doubt it.
“Why do moon rocks taste better than earth rocks?”
I wince. “Do you even know what a “moon rock” is?”
Her nose twitches. “Um, duh? A rock from the moon. Are you sure you’re a doctor? Aren’t they supposed to be super smart or something?”
“Moon rock is slang for Molly.”
“Molly Mathewson?”
“What?”
“My classmate,” Kennedy says as if I’m the stupid one. “She has long blonde hair, big eyes, really pretty. But she’s also a grade-A bitch so everyone hates her.”
“She sounds like my role model.”
Kennedy makes a face.
“Molly is a drug, you little smartass,” I explain. “MDMA? Ecstasy?”
“Don’t you think it would be more concerning if I did know that?”
Every cell in my body regrets passing on that second cup of coffee this morning. Although, in my defense, no amount of caffeine would be enough to deal with the antichrist. “Why do moon rocks taste better than earth rocks, Kennedy?” I ask in my sweetest, nicest, fakest voice.
She perks up and a few strands of her hair fall over her forehead. “Because they’re meatier!”
I blink once. Twice.
“Get it?” she giggles. “Meatier? Meteor?”
“That’s awful.”
“You’re awful.”
“Thank you.”
“That’s not a compliment.”
“It is to me. And for future reference, that wasn’t a joke. It was a riddle. There’s a difference. Look it up.” I flip her patient chart shut and hand it to one of my interns. “Let’s go.”
“Wait!”
This kid needs a sedative. Or a muzzle. “What now?” I respond not having any patience left.
“You have to tell me a joke too.”
“Why?”
“That’s how this works. I tell you a joke, you tell me a joke and the funniest one wins.”
“Wins what?” What the hell does it matter?
“I dunno.” She shrugs. “Bragging rights?”
“Trust me, I will not be bragging about this interaction to anyone.”
“Oh, come on.Pleeease?” Judging by the grotesque puppy-dog look on her face, I know I have only two options. One: waste the next fifteen minutes arguing with this abomination of a child. Or two: give her what she wants, tell her the damn joke, and get the hell out of this room before I do something drastic like snap her neck in two.
