Page 66 of The Story of You
When they were gone, I stared at Jennings. He had long dark hair. He was a gorgeous boy, but he wasn’t for me. My heart belonged to Shane. “Get over here then. We’ll go to my room.”
I walked to him, every step like sludging through molasses. I looked to his crotch to see if I could figure out what I’d be dealing with, but it was too hard to say with him wearing loose blue jeans. I wasn’t fast enough for him, so he reached for my wrist to tug me toward him.
He was stopped when a Shane-sized boulder gripped and tugged on the other. “He’s mine.”
Shane denies saying that to this day. I don’t know why, it’s not like he doesn’t say it several times a day now. I think he just likes to think either of us had any kinda choice. But we didn’t. We were fate. Destiny. Some people don’t believe in that shit, but I do. I was Shane’s before I ever took a breath on Earth, and he was mine.
I didn’t know where he was taking me, but I stumbled after him—that wasn’t a choice either, I was tethered to him by his hand—the whole while in awe of him. The boy I liked wastouchingme—actually touching me. He’d also said two words, the best ones, and with him rarely saying much, every word he said was something special. I was already taking what he said too seriously. Maybe this plan of Darius’s was going to be easier than I thought.
Shane took me to the edge of the property where it was lined with fruit trees towering over hay bales that were forever rotting under the sun. Here? He wanted me to do it here? I scouted the area, all kinds of panicked. What if someone saw us from the road?
He dragged me gently, pulling me around, and releasing my wrist with his dark eyes narrowed at me. “What’s wrong with you? You got some kinda death wish?”
I had one once, but not anymore. “No.”
“Well, that’s what you’re askin’ for getting involved with a guy like Jennings. He’s bad news. At least Asher’s not Jennings but he’s not good news either.”
I didn’t know he was willing to say so many words and he was something else mad like that. I pushed my glasses up my nose. I felt stupid too. I got the impression he thought I was being dumb. I didn’t want him to think I was dumb. “You’re the one hanging out with them.”
“I have to work with ‘em. I’d rather not have trouble, so I keep the peace. They aren’t my friends.”
We stood staring. I didn’t know what else to say, he didn’t know what to do with me. It wasn’t a cold night, but I was—and still am—notorious for being cold. I rubbed my skinny arms. He responded, quickly, removing his overshirt, his large muscles contracting. He handed it to me with a wordless order to put it on. I did, surrounding myself with the scent of his hard day’s work. “So are we gonna—”
“No. I didn’t bring you here for that. We’re too young.”
“Maybe me,” I agreed. “But you’re older.”
“I’m fifteen, Simon. That’s not old enough for quickies behind the hay bale.”
I agreed and disagreed with him. I thought that fifteen was exactly the time for quickies behind the hay bale. With hormones on as high as they are at fifteen, I knew God had always intended for that—no way that was a coincidence—but I did think it should be with someone you cared about and not used to climb your way up a social ladder. I liked what I did with Darry too even though I knew—even then—it wasn’t a romantic thing and that we were probably way too young.
I bit my lip though, not wanting to argue. Part of me was glad he didn’t want to do that under these circumstances. But how did I keep him talking to me? “Aren’t you gonna get cold?”
“Feel my skin,” he said, holding his arm out to me.
I ran my hand along it. It was hot to the touch. Shane’s always been a furnace. The way he stared at me was unnerving. His eyes were hard. Had I not just been given his shirt; I’d think he was wishing me away. I pulled my hand back. I wondered why he was always wearing long shirts, even in warmer weather, but I was too scared to ask.
Thank fuck for Shane’s domineering instincts. He took over. What a fucking relief. “Now that’s sorted out, we’ll go back. It’s also been enough time for them to think we did something. I’d suggest you play along. You don’t have to, but it’s probably for the best they think you’re mine. Then I can protect you.”
He agrees he said that one. That’s the first time Shane remembers saying it. Mine’s the other one I described. I don’t count that second time though because to me it wasn’t himsayingI was his. It was him saying topretendI was his.
I smiled, happy either way. “I’m fine with that.”
He nodded, his hulking form already striding away from me. We returned to the tractor. Jennings and Billy had found beer and more smokes. They leered at Shane when they saw me wearing his shirt with him now only in his t-shirt, making assumptions. “All right. Good job, Sparrow.”
Shane ignored them. He took his spot on the tractor and reached for me, pulling me between his legs. I didn’t know it yet but that’s the night he became my protector. It was a good place to be, nestled against his burning skin, wrapped in his shirt. We waited for Asher and Darry to return, listening to Jennings and Billy talk nonsense. Shane didn’t say a word, but his stone face often held an answer when they looked toward him. They weren’t interested in my opinion.
Ash and Darry did return and to everyone’s fucking surprise, Ash’d softened to Darius a lot. More than anyone thought he was capable of. He was smiling. Fucking beaming. Darius winked at me, his demeanor said, “Did you really doubt me? Me of all people?”
I shouldn’t have. I never doubted him again. When he sets his mind to it, he can charm any snake.
“We’re expanding the group,” Ash announced. “These two are thirteen now anyways. They’ll need to learn the big stuff. Terry will expect us to teach ‘em.”
“I’m not sharing my beer with them. They can nick their own,” Billy declared.
“Won’t be a problem,” Darius said. “I can get enough beer for all of us.”
Later, when Darius and I took off for bed, he nudged me with his elbow, assuming like the others had that I’d done stuff with Shane. “So? Was he huge? Did he make noises? Or is he silent even when he’s getting blown?”
