Page 156 of Starborn Husbands
What is he up to? But I like the adventure of it, so I don’t ask questions and get to stripping down to the Nebuli’s version of cotton briefs. He slides his warm body behind me, and my chaos meter immediately decreases by half.
Then I reach for Merrick’s forearm. There’s an energetic tug, but also a releasing on my end, and the river in me flows into him.
“How are you doing that?” Zhang says.
“I don’t know, but I need to. I think … I think he’s dying, Zhang.” So much for not worrying. “He shouldn’t have left Heaven for me.”
“He’s not dying, and he wanted to, Treyu. Let people do things for you.” He squeezes my arms in a way that says it’s his own personal frustration with me. “I know why you don’t.”
I grit my teeth. “And I told you I don’t want to talk about her.”
“She wanted to give you life,” he carries right on saying, despite my clear signs of hostility.
“She gave me life, and I’m the monster that killed her.” I’m the worst kind of monster too. Not all the gods or demigods have been kind to humans, and now I’m one of them.
“Spank him, Zhang,” Merrick murmurs in his weird angel sleep. “Fucking spank him for that.”
Crack! Smack! Crack!
“Ow! You take orders from him now?” Miserably, I rub the pain from my left ass cheek.
“No, I agreed with him,” Zhang says.
“I’m allowed to feel some kind of way about that, assholes.”
“Language,” Zhang says. “You are, but it’s well beyond feelings. You need to be shaken out of a belief system that no longer serves you. I won’t let you?—”
“We,” Merrick corrects.
“We won’t let you operate under that premise for another seven hundred years. Call us assholes, call us brutes, have all the tantrums you want. It’s not happening.”
My breath is gone. They tag teamed me, even with Merrick half dead, and I think I liked it.
“I’d like to add that you don’t know if the same result would have happened had you been simply a star. If you need someone to blame, blame Mercury.”
That’s … well that’s fucking true.
“But focusing on who’s at fault won’t set you free. Either way, your mother died giving you life and she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Find a way to accept her gift,” Zhang finishes.
“Why not, eh? Just one more thing on a long list of things to accept, huh?” I say with all the bitterness I intend.
“Treyu—”
I spring up, and he releases me. Clamoring off the end of the bed, I address them with all the rage that’s been building for days.
“You killed your mother, but get over it, Treyu. Oh, and you’re part god, Treyu. Don’t forget, we framed you for the worst kind of murder and then took your sunstar, Treyu, but get a new dream.”
“No one’s said that,” Merrick says, opening his eyes.
“You might as well have.”
“No, he’s right. I was saying that … in a way,” Zhang says. “Not with that much lack of care, but I suppose my words have similar meaning. You need to find a way to let go and the only way to do that is to look to the future.”
“Even I know you’re not supposed tosaythat, even if everyone’s thinking it,” Merrick says.
“Then you agree with him,” I accuse.
Merrick closes his eyes and pretends to be asleep again.
