Moonshine cherries. Fireflies. Starlight kisses.
My body’s on a human clock and I age that way. I have no choice but to return to advancing timelines because even if I return to the same time, I’ll be older. It’s not until it’s too late that I realize I’ve missed my life with Cam/Zhang.
My heart shatters, never to be repaired. Mama is gone. My time with her as a human was a gift, fleeting as it may have been. Not only did I squander that gift, but what I had with Cam/Zhang too. It’s all too painful. I want to forget. I want someone to make the pain go away.
All I remember after that is falling. Falling, falling, falling to Earth. It might have happened later, but it’s the same pain. It followed me home to the Pleiades. I never let it go. It’s been poisoning me ever since.
The scent of myrrh stirs my senses. Bruising fingers bring my body to awareness. The world’s moving again. Right. Abducted by an angel. Where the fuck is he taking me?
But I’m not the same. I’ve relived my lifetime on Earth in bits and pieces, and I know it now. Sharp pain wracks my body, and my limbs writhe. This pain was supposed to have left me. Forgetting was supposed to get rid of it, but it didn’t. It only hid in the same place my memories did, feeling all the more yet hollow with so many years to ferment. A soul-ripping ache tears across my chest.Zhang.I check in with my marriage rune just to feel him.
The trilling light beats from my heart. Happy warmth spreads over me, existing in concert with the unbearable heartbreak. Can love do that? Hurt and invigorate you at the same time? I don’t know. I’ve never let it try.
Opening my heart is risky as fuck, but for the first time, the cost of not doing so has become so much greater.
I can’t miss loving Zhang or Merrick a second time. If I get a second time. Fuck.
Glow lights my outsides and the rune-covered bracelet cracks, falling away. My star essence explodes, rebellion for all the time it spent locked up. Daniel’s grip releases and his wings go limp. Did I knock him out? You can’t kill an angel, right?
Unless you have Godly power.
And I do have Godly powers. But that wasn’t them. That was just my star. I know my star.
I think. Fuck, maybe I don’t.
The maybe-killing of a seraph isn’t my only problem. I’m free falling from a distance I’m not going to survive.
I’m about to become stardust.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-FIVE
Treyu
Don’t cry for me, darling boy.
I won’t, Mama. I’ll burn for you.
I’m not falling anymore, and I’m surrounded by the scent of gardenias. “Merrick?”
“The one and the only.”
Bastard. “I thought you died and … are you flying?” We free fall as his right wing loses glide. My body jostles in his hands until he catches air again. He’s doing the flying version of limping.
“Not well, but well enough to prevent you from becoming stardust.”
Tears prick my eyes. Fuck it. “Mair? I’m so fucking glad you’re okay.”
We’re going in a downward direction, and the scene I left comes into view. It’s changed. The army of Ryker clones crowds around Zhang. Off in the distance, Daniel’s in a pile of wings where he crash landed.
“Don’t worry about him for now, Zhang needs you.”
Merrick sets me down and I run. Hard rock meets my knees. “Zhang! Zhang!” He doesn’t answer. I check my marriage rune, still beating. He’s not gone yet.
“Do something. Fix him!” I shout at Merrick.
“There’s nothing I can do for him. It’s got to be you. Go on, Mr. Demi God. Bring him back to life.”
“This is not the time for you to be an asshole, Merrick. It’s just like you to?—”