Endorphins. That’s what’s to blame here. He was nice to me. Took care of me. Let me puke on him.
That fucking kiss.
I’m the victim of a severe influx of hormones and neurotransmitters telling me I’m something I’m not.
I make a new list titled The Benefits of Not Being Married to Zhang. I’ll be able to swear freely again. Alcohol! I’ll down a full bottle of tequila in celebration. Ugh, there’s no tequila in the Nebuli, but I’ll find something else. I’ll also pull my blades and attack Zhang the first chance I get, just for fun—that’ll be a great relief.
He brought you your phone—illegally—just so you could finish your spanking story, Trey.Because he was making nice with his husband-to-be.
He spilled to his father about you, risking his disfavor to save you from the Guild.Any decent star would do that.
He showed up that night for no other reason than to have your back and you tried to stab him in the heart.
That kiss. That kiss, that kiss, that kiss.
I need some fucking air.
I look for the exits even though I know where they all are. “I’ll be back, Sir.” I’m supposed to ask permission but fuck that. I want out of here.
I’m out the kitchen door.
“Excuse us,” he says.
I’m in the early morning air and it’s doing fuck all—why does Zhang keep going for air when it doesn’t work?—and I’m asking for answers from the Gods when he catches up with me.
“Trey.Treyu.Breathe.” He takes one of my hands and seeps some of his starness into it. I’m calmed by his light. He’s familiar and, and, and, he’s what I know and those are the same but different in my head right now. Man, I’m fucked up. “Tell me what’s wrong?”
His voice. I can latch onto it, and I’m allowed to make no sense with him because somehow, he seems to wade through my befuddlement and turn it into legible thoughts. “Insta-love trope is my least favorite trope.”
“Trey, I have no idea what that means.”
Okay, so maybe he can’t make sense of meaaaaallthe time.
“It means that, well, we probably won’t clear my name, right? And we’llhaveto get married even though webothhate the idea.”
He rubs my arms, smirking. “If you wanted to marry me so badly, why didn’t you just say so?”
“Not what I said.”
“Didn’t you?” He’s enjoying this.
“You’re not listening. Ugh, this is my unbelievable machismo, isn’t it? I’ve somehow made you fall hopelessly in love with me over an insanely short amount of time—which qualifies for insta-love in every romance I’ve read—and in turn, I’m awash with chemicals making me have intense feelings.”
“Okay. I think I follow now, and if I’m right I should be awarded a certificate for learning how to speak advanced Treyu because you’re a puzzle, Orion.” He sighs. “I didn’t fall in love with you, nor did you fall in love with me over the past few days.”
If he says so, I’m going with that. “Thank fu…dge.” My family is likely watching us from the window and Zhang is just the sort of hard ass to call me on it. Not today, Satan.
He raises a brow. “Close one. You good now?”
“Yes, no, wait.” It dawns on me. I fucking hate the truth. The truth should die. “We’ve known each other for almost a thousand years.”
“That … is a true statement.”
Which only proves that you can tell the truth while being totally dishonest.
“Stop it. You fell in love with me at first sight and so did I, but I’ve repressed my feelings, manifesting them as hate so that I don’t have to admit to them.”
He chuckles. “I can say with all honesty that I did not fall in love with you at first sight. I can’t speak for you, but I hated you for a very long time before I didn’t.”