Page 106 of The Wondrous Life and Loves of Nella Carter
Sebastian stirs, reaching, still asleep, and pulls me toward him. I allow myself a moment, savoring his warmth and the strength of his touch. I’m happy and sick at the same time, Death’s words echoing in my mind. He’ll never let me have this. Or, instead, he will take it from me.
I marvel at Sebastian, still nestled in the sheets, and for an instant, an image of the not-so-distant future where we’ve made a life comes to mind. I can picture it all—trips to museums, flights traveling the world, lovely dinners, and long walks along the beach. Even thinking of it brings a flicker of joy that makes me incandescent. It could all be so beautiful. That is, until I’m left to live it without him—alone again.
The familiar feeling creeps in, the bleak one that tastes of despair. I can also imagine what it will be like to experience it all again: to watch Sebastian wither, struck down by an accident or old age itself; to plan another funeral under an assumed name. The thought strengthens my resolve. This will all end tonight.
I tug on a robe and creep downstairs for a glass of water. His jacket is on the banister, and it looks good there, as if it belongs. All through the living room, Sebastian’s things lie about, taking up space as if they’re supposed to be here.
That’s when I see it. The one thing that doesn’t belong. It’s the object I’ve been waiting for.
A large golden hourglass sits on top of the piano, the sand steadily pouring through, mounding in the bottom compartment. I approach it like a bomb and read the time remaining—a little less than two hours. The white card stands out, with a familiar address not far from here.
I get my water and head upstairs.
It’s time to meet Death and face his wrath.
I’ve told someone the truth.
I sit on the edge of the bed.
“Hey.” He smiles sleepily at me.
“Hey,” I say back, smiling. He is so handsome. I love how he looks up at me like I am the sun and he’s caught in my orbit. I enjoy his look for a few seconds more because once he hears the truth, he won’t ever see me that way again.
He shifts back, eyes more alert, searching my face. “Something’s wrong.” He slips his hand into mine. “Is it because we had sex?”
“No,” I say, squeezing his hand. “That was perfect.”
He grins and brushes his mouth against my knuckles. “What’s the matter?”
Hasn’t he been paying attention about what happens when people get too close to me? I want to savor these final seconds together.
“I’m just glad I could share my story with you. I’m glad you’re the one who knows the whole thing.”
“And I’m glad to be a part of it,” he says, smiling. “There’s so much left to tell ... so much more of your story to be written.”
“But that’s just it, Sebastian ...”
Lightning flashes outside as rain lashes the window, filling the room with its steady beat. Silence stretches out between us as comprehension dawns.
“You broke the rules,” he says. “You weren’t supposed to ... tell the story ...”
There’s no judgment there, only a simple statement of the facts.
He pauses as if replaying the last few days in his mind. “Last night at the museum, you’d made your mind up then.” He swallows. “I was so caught up in what you told me about your past that I wasn’t paying attention to your future.”
Another man might storm out or rage at my selfishness, perhaps argue with me and try to change my mind. But Sebastian is Sebastian and comforts me. He draws me into his arms, which only makes itworse. I can imagine a life of Sebastian helping me fulfill the terms of the deal, seeking other stories. As good as it would be, nothing would be worth what would come in the end. At some future time, I’d lose him too.
My heart twists in my chest. The pain is so great that I feel my soul might shatter.
“Nella—” He moves to my side.
“No.” I hold out a hand, stopping him, and take a breath. “I’ve had my mind made up since Winston died three years ago. I’d fulfilled my promise to Gabby to look after him. With him gone, I tried not to make any more attachments and keep things simple. The thing was, Death never showed. Not even when I tried to force him to meet me. So I decided to wait. He had to meet me at some point. And then I met you. Perfect you. I suddenly remembered everything I’d forgotten, how good the world could feel—what it was like to be interested in life again. What it felt like to want again ...” I take a deep breath. “I was ready to choose more time, right up until I saw those figurines in the museum. I had to tell you. I had to break the deal.”
Sebastian frowns, forehead wrinkling. “Why? Because of William?”
“No,” I say. “It’s because of you.” I cup his cheek, his beard slightly rough in my hand. I breathe in the scent of him—cinnamon, leather, and the bit of essence that is just him—savoring it for the last time.
“Because of me?” Sebastian sits back, bewildered. “What about me would make you want to end this bet?”
