Page 59 of Safer Alone
We pull apart when the second announcement for my flight sounds through the airport.
“Do me a favor and let me know when you get home?” he asks.
I nod. “I can do that. Goodbye, Elliot.”
I turn to leave, his hand catches me before I can take a step. I look back into his face.
“I’ll see you again soon, baby” and with that, he kisses me once more on the lips, lasting only a couple of seconds before breaking it.
I begin the walk towards the correct gate, not daring to look back just in case I burst into tears. I see a postcard stand just ahead. I select one with the Statue of Liberty front and center and pay the young guy with a $1.00 bill which he deposits into his fanny pack. I continue on my way, concentrating on getting to the plane. The lady behind the counter takes my boarding pass and shows me to my seat, a spot in first class. I pluck my phone out of my handbag before stowing my luggage in the overhead compartment. Once I’m seated, I tap out a quick message:
<: Thank you. I can’t believe you bought me another ticket in first class :)
I take a quick selfie and attach it before hitting send. An older lady smelling of Red Door sits next to me, and we exchange a polite hello. I look back at my phone to switch it to airplane mode when a text appears on the screen. I open it right away.
<: You’re welcome, baby. Let me know when you get home.
As I finish reading the message, a second one comes through showing underneath:
<: Gosh you’re beautiful. I’m already missing you.
He must have received the photo. The flight attendant chooses this moment to come around, and sees me with my phone.
“You will need to turn that off now, please, ma’am.”
I nod. “Was just switching it to airplane mode” I reply, smiling. She smiles back and continues down the aisle.
Just before turning it off, I send a quick reply:
<: Me too x
As soon as the message is sent I turn my phone onto airplane mode and keep a hold of it in my hands. I look out the window and a smile spreads across my face. He misses me already, and I miss him. How on earth am I going to get through these next two weeks without him? With keeping busy at work, that’s how, and then before I know it he will be with me again. We will go to the Christmas party together, and then I will go back with him to New York and we will spend Christmas together.
Speaking of Christmas, what on earth should I buy him for Christmas? Besides chatting about music, he didn’t provide any clues. I can make him something. It will be less expensive and more personal. It hits me: a photo frame, I’ve made a couple of them before, a plain timber frame and some paint. I’ll make him something.
The lady beside me doesn’t try to make conversation for which I am thankful, rather enjoying the memories of the weekend keeping me company, from the dinner where he confessed to also be waiting for marriage, the drive through town, picnic on his property, dinner with his parents and last night, spending the night together. I am falling hard for Elliot. It scares me and yet at the same time so much happiness is filling me up.
The pilot announcing our descent into Nashville brings me back into the here and now. I feel the all too familiar unsettled feeling in my stomach, I place my phone in between my legs, squeezing them together to prevent it from falling. I lean forward and pluck the sick bag from the pouch on the back of the seat in front of me.
“You’re not going to be sick are you, dear?”
I turn my head to my neighbor “Yes, quite possibly I am.”
She shakes her head and looks into the aisle of the plane, not wanting to look at me. I turn my head, facing the window. I can see the spread of buildings underneath me. I’m almost home, I only have to hold out for a short time. I count my long deep breaths, one, two, three, four, five. The feeling in my stomach isn’t getting worse, I smile a tiny smile, I’m proud of myself, not giving in to this sick feeling. I feel the bump of the plane, the wheels making contact with the tarmac.
“Thank God,” I voice.
I hear the lady next to me make an unintelligible noise.
When the plane finally comes to a complete stop, I switch my phone back on and see the message icon on the screen. I open the program to find a message from Elliot:
<: I’m glad the feeling is mutual.
The message had been sent moments after my own. Smiling at the screen, I compile a reply:
<: Just landed, safe and sound.
The lady beside me stands up and makes her way to the exit, I follow suit. Standing up I retrieve my bag from the overhead locker and wander off the plane. I make my way through the tunnel finally coming to the baggage claim. I take a position toward the end of the conveyor belt where there was a large space. About fifteen minutes later the bags start coming along. I notice mine is the third one. I wait till it’s almost right in front of me and pick it up just before it goes past me.
