Page 48 of Safer Together
~ Chapter Nineteen ~
Angela
After returning to the guest house, I get changed out of my dress from today and into comfier clothes. I deposit my two gift boxes from Elliot into my bag and pop my phone onto the charger, before wandering back over to meet my fiancé where he was waiting for me to watch a movie in the media room.
Sometimes I don’t know what the hell I am thinking. I mean, did I seriously just agree to watch a horror movie with, Elliot? For Christ’s sake girl, the title says it all, it’s going to be a terrifying time, for me anyway. I’ll no doubt have nightmares. Elliot, obviously enjoys these kinds of films, and when he asked, I said “Sure, why not?” while looking into his beautiful baby blues. I mean how can you say no when you’re looking at the most handsome man on the planet? Blue eyes that I can’t help but get lost in every time I stare into them. What on earth have I just agreed to?!
I, Angela White, do not do horror films. No Siree. I am a comedy or romance girl. Even the occasional thriller can be thrown in there somewhere. I don’t mind gunshots, and a good crime unravelling on the screen to get me thinking, I’m all for that. But horror, I mean, honestly, how much of this movie am I actually going to watch? Most of the time will consist of me looking anywhere else but the television screen or even covering my eyes. Yep, I’m that kind of girl.
It’s been this way since Liam tricked me into going to the movies with him to see some horrific, warped idea of a film. I hadn’t seen any trailers for the film or heard anything about it, so when I asked him what kind of film it was, and he replied, “a thriller, I think.”
I figured why not? I had no reason to believe that Liam would lie to me about the type of movie we were watching.
So, there we were, Liam purchased our tickets and a bucket of popcorn to share and we went to find a seat in the theatre. The previews came on and they were nothing to write home about. As the movie began, I saw from the corner of my eye that Liam was looking at me which I found sort of strange, but I figured I had some popcorn on my face so I wiped it away. And then two men popped up on the screen, tied to a massive saw with a chain around themselves. One poor soul was blind and the other couldn’t talk since his mouth was sewn shut, and that was it for me. I stood up from my seat and leant over to get right in Liam’s face, said “You’re an asshole. Give me the keys. I’m going home,” to which he immediately gave them over without even a comment and I left the theater.
Now you’re probably thinking, you left within the opening scene of the movie, no harm, no foul, right? WRONG. I had a nightmare about that movie every night for a month.
Liam didn’t dare lie to me about a movie ever again, and I’ve been sure to google the trailer for anything he suggests, just in case. So, I’ve been safe up until now. I had to think quickly. I decide I wouldn’t exactly say I couldn’t watch them but come up with an excuse.
“Oh crap,’’ I say, Elliot swings around from his DVD case with a girl projectile vomiting on the cover. I know then that I am doing the right thing.
“What’s up babe?” his face full of concern. I am all ready to make up an excuse to not have to watch the film when he must read something on my face. “You don’t like horror films, do you?” he says as he walks across to me, depositing the DVD onto the coffee table in front of us.
I shake my head, “No, sorry.”
He laughs, a beautiful melodic sound. “That’s okay babe. Let’s watch something else. Why don’t you pick?”
I reach up and grab my hand onto his shirt, and pull him towards me. He puts his hands out on either side of my body to stop himself from falling completely onto my frame. I look into his beautiful blue eyes and I see something reflecting back at me. Desire. I take my opportunity and bring his lips to mine and kiss him, not at all shy like we would normally do outside of the bedroom. No, this is nothing like those ones. I put my everything into the kiss, letting him know how much that I love him, that I thank him, that I can’t believe he is mine.
I am rewarded by the growl coming from deep within his throat; he is enjoying this kiss as much as I am. He leans into me even more and deepens the kiss, flicking his tongue across my lip, asking for an invitation to open up to him. There is no longer any hesitation on my end, I open up to him and he takes full advantage of bringing one of his hands from its place beside me on the lounge to the back of my head, grabbing a fist full of my loose hair in his big strong hands and pulling me towards him. We kiss like this for who knows how long, lost in each other before he breaks away. He closes his eyes momentarily, before opening them up again. “You make it so damn hard to wait, Angela.”
I inhale sharply, no way he didn’t hear it. I know what he is saying, implying, hoping for. All guys are the same, wanting to get into a woman’s pants at some stage, it’s only natural. However Elliot has been so understanding, never once asking for me to give it up to him, never trying to force me, even now, in those words, I know he is saying he is willing to wait, even though he is clearly wanting more. I smile up at him and try to be seductive. I take my bottom lip in between my teeth and I am rewarded by an intake of breath not unlike my own.
“Angela, what are you doing?” his voice is husky now, lower and deeper than before. I’m not very knowledgeable on men’s voices and the way they change or why, but I would put everything I own on the fact that Elliot is turned on. Feeling bolder than I ever have before I reach out to him, to touch him on the thigh, missing ever so slightly and landing on the rock-hard bulge in his pants.
I hear Elliot almost hiss at me, “Angela, you don’t know what you are doing to me just now, I’m hardly holding myself back from sweeping you into my arms and carrying you to my bed. If you don’t want to go any further tell me. Tell meright now,” the last two words are so firm. I can see his arms are beginning to shake, the muscles in his biceps popping, he really is holding back.
We are engaged, I love him, and it’s not like this would be the first time I had someone inside me, although this would be the first time I consented. I was ready to give in to him, I’ve never wanted anything so much in my entire life, however I knew that he needed to know about my first time. Gathering all the strength I can muster I prepare myself to tell my story.
“Elliot, I’m not saying no, in fact I’m saying yes. I want that too.” I pause, smiling at him, reaching out to cup his face, I brushed my thumb across his lip. “However, there is something you need to know about me first.”
I look directly into his eyes, he returns the gaze, something almost like fire looking back at me, “Okay, Angela, what do you need to tell me?” I take in one last gulp of air and steel myself. This is going to be hard.
“Elliot, I need to tell you something. I haven’t been completely honest with you, I think I’ve led you to believe that I’m a virgin, but I’m not.” I steady myself and take another deep breath, a look of confusion on his face appearing. “The reason I’m not a virgin Elliot, is that a few years ago I was raped.”
The look on Elliot’s face turns feral, he pushes away from me and turns to face the television. He picks up the now forgotten DVD from the coffee table and puts it back in place among his collection with so much force I see the cabinet shake. He then walks over to the television, takes the remote in hand and turns it off. I watch his every movement carefully, not wanting to take my eyes off him, wanting to see if I can figure out what he is thinking. When he turns back around to face me, his face leaves nothing to chance, he is angry, furious even at me no doubt. I know he wanted a virgin. When I told him I was waiting the look on his face was relief. We were a kindred spirit, but now I wasn’t what he was after, even if that choice had been taken away from me. I had to leave and get out of here, now, before the tears start to fall and my heart broke in two.
I stand up and walk over to him, stopping an arm’s length away. “I can see from your expression you’re angry with me. I’m sorry I lied to you. I’ll head out and pack my things, and I’ll call a cab to come and take me to my apartment in the city.” Before I can even take one step, he reaches out to me and takes my arm in his big strong hand,
“Angie, Baby”, his voice is incredibly soft, not at all what I was expecting. “Look at me.” I turn my head to face him, the anger is still there, but another emotion was clouding over. But just what it was, I couldn’t tell.
“I’m looking at you, Elliot”.
He steps toward me and takes me in his arms, enveloping me, pulling me close to his muscular chest, and begins stroking my hair. “I am so, so sorry that happened to you, baby. I don’t think I can actually put into words what I am feeling right now, but I can guarantee, this anger I am feeling is in no way directed at you.” A kiss to my temple, and then my forehead are featherlight, but enough to know what he is doing.
“This person who raped you, it’s Dylan, isn’t it?” I nod on his chest, he feels the movement. I feel his jaw clench and harden above me, the pressure on my scalp as evidence. “I’ll fucking kill him” he speaks with conviction, he isn’t talking metaphorically, he meant what he said. I push out of his hold and look him in the eyes, “I’m serious Angie. I’m not going to let him get away with what he did to you. I’m going to make him pay. You don’t have to tell me, but I want to know exactly what he did to you.”
His voice is like steel, and his eyes like ice, it is no doubt at all he is serious. I take his face between my two hands and hold him firmly. “You listen to me now, Elliot. You can’t do that. I can’t lose you, and you have too much to lose. You don’t know Dylan like I do. He probably expected me to tell you the night of the Christmas party, but I didn’t, so he has probably been walking on eggshells around you ever since, expecting retaliation. But you can’t do that. He is expecting you to hurt him. He more than likely wants you to, because if you do physically hurt him, he can go to his lawyers and sue you. He will make sure everyone he knows is aware that you hurt him. He will drag your name through the mud to ensure that you suffer too. I can’t let you do that, baby, I can’t” My voice breaks on the final word, his features begin to soften ever so slightly. I am on the right track, and I just had to keep on going.
