Page 8 of Broken Secrets
The name Jeremy Cole Kline echoes in my head all morning like a song I can’t get rid of. During first period chemistry, I find myself writing his name in my notebook margins, testing how it looks in my handwriting.
Maya notices I’m distracted during lunch, but she doesn’t push. Maybe she’s finally getting the hint that I need space to figure things out. Or maybe she’s tired of me being weird and evasive. Either way, I’m grateful for the relative quiet as I pick atmy sandwich and watch the waves crash against the shore in the distance.
“You’re doing that thing again,” Derek says, dropping onto the bench beside me.
“What thing?”
“The thing where you disappear inside your own head.” He steals one of my chips without asking. “Want to talk about whatever’s making you write mystery names in your chemistry notes?”
My cheeks burn. “You saw that?”
“Hard to miss when you’re sitting right next to me.” He bumps my shoulder with his. “So who’s Jeremy Cole Kline? New boyfriend I should be jealous of?”
The casual way he says it makes something flutter in my chest, but I push the feeling aside. “It’s…complicated.”
“Most things worth talking about are.”
I study his face. Derek’s been in my life for years, steady as the tide. He knows about my anxiety before big games, knows I eat pizza with ranch dressing, knows I’m terrible at parallel parking. But he doesn’t know this. Nobody does.
“It’s my dad’s name.”
His expression shifts immediately. “Your dad?”
I nod, pulling apart my sandwich instead of meeting his eyes. “Found it on my birth certificate this morning.”
“Wow.” He doesn’t try to fill the silence with empty words, which is one of the things I’ve always liked about Derek. He lets me process.
“The worst part is my mom acting like it’s some huge secret. Like knowing his name is going to destroy my life or something.” I finally look up. “But I have this heart thing that might be genetic, and the doctors need family medical history, and she’s still being all mysterious about it.”
“Have you tried looking him up?”
“I already did,” I admit. “Last night. I found his business website.”
He leans forward, interested. “And?”
“And he has another family. A wife and a daughter who looks about our age.” The words taste bitter. “They look really happy together.”
“Must have been hard to see.”
“I always thought maybe he didn’t know about me. Like my mom never told him she was pregnant or something. But seeing him with this other family…” I trail off. “It’s pretty clear he chose them over us.”
“Or maybe there’s more to the story than you know.”
I give him a look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean, you’ve been operating on eighteen years with basically no information. Maybe your mom had reasons for keeping him away that had nothing to do with him not wanting you.”
The bell rings signaling the end of lunch. Around us, everyone starts gathering their trash and heading back to class. But I stay put, staring at Derek.
“You think I should ask her about it? Directly?”
“I think you should do whatever feels right for you,” he says, standing and shouldering his backpack. “But for what it’s worth, I think you’re stronger than whatever you might find out.”
CHAPTER THREE
After school,I sit in my car in the parking lot for a long time, engine off, watching everyone else drive away to their normal lives. Derek’s words from lunch keep echoing in my head:“I think you should do whatever feels right for you.”
But what feels right? Pretending I never found Jeremy’s website? Going home and acting like everything’s fine while Mom avoids talking about my father and I wait for a cardiologist appointment that might not even help without his medical history?
