Page 81 of Broken Secrets
The drive to the urgent care center passes in a blur of Derek’s worried voice, Coach Martinez’s steady reassurances, and my own increasing anxiety about what might be happening to my heart. By the time we arrive, I’m hyperventilating and my hands are tingling.
“She has a known heart condition,” Coach tells the intake nurse. “Tricuspid regurgitation. She was doing fine at practice and then suddenly became short of breath with chest tightness.”
“How long ago was her last cardiology appointment?” the nurse asks, taking my blood pressure.
“Not that long ago, maybe a month, month in a half? Dr. Kasey said everything was stable.” Derek says.
They take me back immediately, which somehow makes me more anxious rather than reassured. Derek holds my hand while the nurse attaches EKG leads to my chest, and I can see theworry in his eyes even though he’s trying to stay calm for my sake.
“Try to relax,” the nurse says kindly. “We’re just going to see what your heart is doing right now.”
I take a shaky deep breath as Dr. Harrison, the urgent care physician, reviews my EKG results with a calm expression that gives nothing away.
“Well,” she says finally, “your heart rhythm is completely normal. No irregularities, no signs of distress.”
“But I couldn’t breathe. My chest was so tight.”
“I believe you had a panic attack,” Dr. Harrison says gently. “Everything you described—the chest tightness, rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, tingling hands—those are classic symptoms of anxiety and panic, not cardiac distress.”
I stare at her, confused. “But I wasn’t anxious about anything. I was just playing soccer.”
“Panic attacks don’t always have obvious triggers. Sometimes they’re the result of accumulated stress that we’re not consciously aware of.” She sits down across from me. “Have there been any major changes in your life recently? New stressors, relationship changes, family situations?”
“A few things,” I admit.
“It’s possible your body is responding to stress that you haven’t fully processed mentally. Even positive changes can create anxiety.”
Derek squeezes my hand. “You have had a lot going on lately.”
“But I’ve been handling everything fine. I feel good about the family stuff, happy about Derek and me, excited about college. I’m not stressed.”
“Sometimes our bodies respond to change even when our minds think we’re handling it well,” Dr. Harrison explains. “Have you been sleeping normally? Eating regularly?”
“Yes, I mean I have a bit of insomnia but otherwise I feel rested, and I do eat regularly.”
“What about your usual stress management techniques? Exercise, relaxation, time with friends?”
“Soccer has been normal, but everything else…” I trail off, realizing that my routine has been disrupted by family visits, extra phone calls with Emma, longer conversations with Derek about the future. “I guess things have been different.”
Dr. Harrison nods. “Your body is telling you to slow down and pay attention to your stress levels. The good news is that your heart is fine. The concerning news is that you’re pushing yourself harder than you realize.”
“So what do I do?”
“Start by acknowledging that major life changes, even positive ones, require energy and adjustment. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating regular meals, and maintaining some of your normal routines.” She hands me a pamphlet about managing anxiety. “If you continue having panic attacks, you should talk to your regular doctor about strategies for managing stress and anxiety.”
The drive home is quiet, with Derek concentrating on traffic and me processing what just happened. Coach Martinez follows us to make sure I get home safely, and I feel embarrassed about disrupting practice for what turned out to be anxiety rather than a medical emergency.
“How are you feeling now?” he asks as we pull into my driveway.
“Embarrassed. Confused. A little shaky still.”
“You don’t need to be embarrassed.”
“I should have realized I was stressed instead of assuming something was wrong with my heart.”
“You’ve been managing everything so well that it didn’t occur to any of us that you might be overwhelmed.”
Inside, Mom and Robert are waiting anxiously in the living room. Coach Martinez had called ahead to let them know what happened and that I was okay.
