Page 115 of Stardusted
There was that little jolt, that little reminder of who he really was. I used it to close my mouth.
“I noticed,” he said simply, temple resting on the back of my couch, “because it’s how I feel living here. Watching it all. Experiencing it.”
Something cracked a little behind my breastbone.I answered him honestly, because I was too shocked to do anything else. “I…have no idea what to say to that.”
Hehadto know I’d been obsessing over him. If not before tonight, he did now. Amelia had cleared up any confusion when she’d stopped by earlier and oh-so-helpfully spewed my deepest, darkest secrets. If he’d had any doubts, me attacking him in the stairwell should’ve driven the point home.
Even though this was the answer to every one of my daydreams, I knew it came with a giant, loomingBut. And he was about to give it to me.
“It’s okay,” Sky said, giving me a slight, close-lipped smile that faded quickly. “You asked why I kissed you—and that’s it. That’s why.” He sat up with a sigh and squinted down at his hands. “And why I shouldn’t have, too. Because despite any…well, feelings, I have a mission. It’s got to come first. Once that’s done, I…”
He formed loose fists. Head still bowed, he didn’t finish, but he didn’t have to.Right. He was analien. He had a home planet out there called Pladia.
He didn’t have time to flirt with a waitress from his undercover job, even one who happened to get herself wrapped up in a giant, interstellar mess.
Once his task—whatever that turned out to be—was complete, he’d be leaving, wouldn’t he? That made sense.
It didn’t change that I was feelingall the things.
Or the fact I hadsomany questions about him. For him. They crowded in, clamoring for release. There were so many more things I needed to know before that time came. Before he wasgone.
I’d onlyjustbegun to see the real him. The real Sky, who was born on a ship in deep space. Whose world was eight lightyears from Earth.
I tilted my head, looking at him. Really looking at him.
For example, whyhim?What was he doing here, and why had he chosen to take on this task? Or had it been chosen for him? And when he’d come to Earth, had he left people behind? Family? Friends?
A…a lover?
I tried to imagine leaving everyone I knew—Dustin, my family, Amelia, even the Oasis crew—and a pang of sympathy wedged beneath my ribs. God, no wonder he was lonely. He’d said before that he’d never told anyone the truth he’d spilled here tonight.
What would itfeellike to live on a completely foreign planet where no one knew the authentic version of you?
Granted, he’d mentioned a partner. Bast. But that was one person. In a sea of strangers. A sea of stars.
It was overwhelming. Crushingly lonely.
But none of that changed what he was gently telling me right now, that whatever was between us couldn’t happen.
I’d deal with the little ball of hurt ricocheting around my chest later.Later.I’d stuff it down with all the other things I’d be screaming into a pillow about once I got the chance.
For now, I had the opportunity to ask some of the million questions spiraling through my brain.
I just had to keep cool. To let this gentle rejection roll off me. And I could do that. I was a big girl.
It wasn’t like I didn’t havetonsof practice pretending to be unaffected by Sky Acosta.
I turned back to my shrimp fried rice and grabbed a pair of chopsticks, pitching my tone light. “Well, if we’re not going to pass the time making out, I have questions.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him staring, as if my sudden acquiescence had surprised him. Then his light chuckle broke the tension, and he shook his head, reaching for the chow mein again. “I know you hate hearing this, but I can’t tell you much. The Creed we follow is very specific. I’ve already broken so many rules telling you what I have.” He winced, like the reminder was too much. “So many.”
I cocked a brow as I hefted my utensils. “You don’t think they’d make an exception for extenuating circumstances?”
“You don’t know Pladians,” he muttered, and I couldn’t argue with that. I knew exactly one, and he did indeed appear to be really into rules.
“Okay then.” I paused, pinching a piece of shrimp and looking over at him. “Was it really a solar flare, or is that all a big lie?”
He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, hesitating.
