Page 62 of Say It Isn't Snow
CHAPTER 21
HOLLY
The last ofthe holiday rush between Christmas and New Year’s has me a bit on edge. Blissful Bites is behind on orders and there are fires to put out from when I was gone. The first day back after I drop Leo off at his college campus, I don’t stop moving longer than thirty seconds all day.
I’m truly grateful for Leta and my siblings’ extra help covering the bakery on short notice while I was snowed in, and to thank them I paid them all bonuses on top of their paychecks.
As I get back into my routine, I’m finding things taking me longer than usual when supplies are out of place, ingredients haven’t been replenished, and the shop is slammed with customers out enjoying the holidays in Mayfield’s historic shopping district.
The goal is to reorganize the bakery, catch up on the orders waiting in the queue, and have my shop running in smooth order once again by the end of the day.
Oh, and remember to feed myself somewhere in the spare moments between.
Leo’s off for the rest of the week, enjoying what’s left of his winter break from college, and Hazel’s home in Candlewood. Leta’s on vacation with her family, so I’m the only one here.
The challenge doesn’t intimidate me. I’ll just have to work harder.
I’m accustomed to handling most things on my own. I used to believe it was faster if I shouldered everything myself. I’d always think, if I could figure out how to multiply myself, I’d be set for life.
At some point, it grew more challenging to count on others, instilling a strong sense that I’m being a burden to people if I can’t do something on my own without them.
I don’t want to delegate and explain every little thing I need done. But…it would be nice if I could.
According to Leo, the standards I set for myself are considered high and unrealistic whenever I remind him how I like things to be packaged.
And maybe that’s my problem with knowing when I can’t do it all by myself. I put these rigid expectations on myself and fear what happens when I don’t achieve them.
I can’t go on like this forever, or I’ll skate too close to running myself into the ground.
The tight way I grip the reins of control now that I’m in my usual routine makes me starkly aware of how much better things were for me tucked away at the cabin when I had Caleb to rely on.
With him, I never feel like I’d be troubling him if I reached out. It’s the complete opposite.
It was so nice to have someone who sensed whatever I might want before I voiced it. He took care of me in a way I’ve never been looked after before.
He’s the one I need to remind me he’s there to catch me when my independent nature finally exhausts me.
Unfortunately, I can’t expect to have him here all the time. But thanks to him, I’m starting to see I should learn to be betterabout realizing I sometimes require support from others without my irrational worry of pushing my problems onto them.
These old habits of mine are tough to break.
Once I’m immersed in work, I take on more and more until I overload myself, determined to handle it all.
I hope I don’t come off a little unhinged in front of my customers. Between putting batches of treats in the oven, setting timers, and working the counter with a dazzling smile—all while whispering to myself to keep track of my to-do list so I don’t forget a thing—I’m a human whirlwind decked out in pink.
It’s worth every second of madness when I see people enjoying my baked goods and hanging out in my homey, comforting space. Watching their expressions light up at the treats I’ve lovingly baked is everything to me.
It never gets old and never fails to brighten my spirits. From the time I taught myself to bake and first saw my younger siblings enjoying what I made to now running my shop, it warms my heart. I love what I do.
By the end of the day, I’ve made a good dent in what I have left for the New Year’s Eve party cookie order, rearranged my restocked ingredient shelf so my most-used things are back in place, and I sold out of everything I made for the day. I still have to catch up on other orders that have piled up, but I extinguished the most pressing fires.
I’m about to fall asleep on my aching feet, but I did it. A tired, successful smile tugs at my lips.
Once I lock up the front of the shop, I trudge to the back with a yawn, gathering my things to head home for the night.
A steaming mug of hot chocolate, a holiday movie marathon, and a kiss from the most handsome hockey player I know would fix me. I just know it would.
At least the first two are in my immediate future as soon as I go up to my apartment above the shop and take the hottest, mostluxurious shower of my life to wash away my stress. I text Caleb before I leave the bakery.
