Page 67 of WitchCurse
Ishould have expected the alpha, slow to rage but not unscathed by anger, he would always be a formidable foe. Our years in Underhill had given us not friendship, but mutual respect, after he had made it clear I was not to teach the babe. When his presence touched the edges of my awareness, indicating he was close, I almost expected him to attack for daring to instruct the princess, but he lingered at a distance, not hiding, but waiting. His presence not close enough for the princess to notice.
“Did you not mention a meal that required your attendance?” I asked the princess, snuffing the fire with a thought. She was gaining ground and frustration, but the beast was a muscle of magic which would need building and practice.
She sighed. “I can feel it, like I’m really close.”
“Practice, princess, takes time. Castles are not built in a day, not even for fae like myself. I was once young and in need of training. The little fox and even the alpha still learn and seek answers as they grow their strength.”
She stared in the direction of her waiting wolf, the shimmering edges of it only barely visible for me. Time and effort would give it life, structure, and power. “I’ll keep practicing.”
“Your training will continue; our vow can only be broken by my passing. The guardian will grow with practice and focus.”
She nodded and gathered her books. “You should head back too. It’s getting dark, won’t everyone miss you?” Not likely, but I helped her gather her things. “Be patient with Toby. He can be complicated sometimes, but he’s working through it.”
“You know the wolf?” I inquired. It seemed unusual that the alpha, as overprotective as he was, would let his vulnerable daughter near a wolf they all considered broken.
“He’s better than he was. But he never hurt me. In fact, always sought to protect me from the others if they got too close. I knew him before the change. Not well, but he was nice, volunteered at the cat shelter, donated to the library, visited the bakery a lot. Took really good care of his aunt. He lost of a lot of those small things in the change.”
The wolf had cast all of that into their divide, seeing the tiny things that made them human as a liability. I’d seen many memories swirling in that tsunami of rolling water that kept him and his wolf from mingling. Had our bond helped at all? “The wolf has little need for the past,” I said.
“But Toby does. The wolf will die without the human half. And as much as the past hurts sometimes, it is part of who we are.” She gave me a strained smile. “Like memories of my mom are bittersweet. I still love her, even if she makes my heart hurt.”
I thought of my own mother and wondered if I felt the same. Was there love remaining or had the many long years of abuse killed all the kindness I had left in reserve? That day after Landon’s death, waking in the cage, had set free something great in me. Not unlike Toby’s struggle with the wolf, I’d buried the pain and darkness, until that moment. Only after I’d been bound in ice had I realized the barrier was back, and the darkness within, building. I had not since allowed it freedom.
The simple truth was that the darkness was destruction I held back. And wasn’t that a startling revelation? I hadn’t changed because I refused to allow myself to let go. I’d been expecting for years to die in a blaze of dragon glory, reaping havoc on the land, but stored it all away behind an internal barrier. Did that mean there would be no eruption into insanity? The last time…the first time…the only time it had happened, had been a disaster. Long years buried deep, steeped with memories of death and sorrow. It had taken all of the fae to bind me and stop the rage. It was why I held tight to my barriers now, and would likely die with them firmly in place. Was there a middle ground? A way to ease the weight of them and still hold back the monster?
“I suspect I have more in common with the wolf than I originally thought,” I said. Toby had internalized the divide. The wolf breaking the memory of his human life into pieces, casting it all into a swirly ocean of pain. I’d shoved mine into the darkness, not wanting to face a thousand lifetimes of pain.
She threw herself into my arms, and squeezed me tight in a hug. “Thank you for teaching me. I know we aren’t supposed to thank the fae. But I learned a lot, and unlike everyone else, I’m not afraid of you.”
“You should be,” I corrected her. “I’m a monster.”
“There are a lot of monsters in this world. The worst of them wear human faces and pretend to be kind. You’re honest about your faults, and never openly seek to hurt anyone.”
“I do not deserve a pedestal, princess.” She didn’t know all the secrets of my past. No one did but me.
“No pedestal, but I see just fine,” she pointed to her eyes. Then she squeezed my hand before she left, heading off in a hurry toward the main house. I waited until she crossed the wards before turning in the direction of the alpha.
“Will you rage?” I called to him.
He stepped free of the trees and wandered into the small alcove, sighing heavily. In the fading light of the day there was a streak of red in his blond curls, a touch of his kitsune rising, but he didn’t appear ready to rip me to shreds.
“No.”
That surprised me. “You didn’t want me to instruct Ari.”
“Korissa is not a dimension of living power. I also know you better now. Had I been more rational when separated from Sebastian, I probably would have let you train Ari with me, rather than you sneaking away to do it in private.”
I wasn’t certain anyone knew me anymore, but didn’t argue. I hadn’t known he’d caught me giving the babe some basics in control. Was surprised he didn’t rage about that. “She is very strong. Her light would blind many if allowed to grow rather than extinguish.”
“She has a wolf? I heard you mention it while instructing her, but I could only see the barest hint of magic, though I have sensed something…and worried for a long time that she would change.”
“Your blood curse is not hers,” I said. “She can harness the spirit and use its strength as a guardian. No reason to let it fade into nothing as she grows.”
“But she won’t be cursed with the wolf taking over?” Liam sat down near the cooling fire, shoulders slumping as though tired. He had a lot to manage being mated to a kitsune and father to not only a world of power, but a princess full of earthen magic.
“She will not. However strong her wolf grows, it will always be a pulse of magic, rather than a change of flesh and bone.” I handed him the picture she’d drawn of the curses remaining, would he understand them better than she had? He frowned at the page, each one drawn larger to the side, with a line connection to where it bound to me. “Do any of these make sense to you?”
“She sees these?” He looked at me, eyes going golden with the kitsune power, but he shook his head. “I can see something? A dark blot? Not the definition that she has drawn here. None of the symbols look familiar, but we all know now it’s more about intent with structured magic than set symbols, much like language in general is. Similarities exist between cultures, but are often divided by misinterpretation.” He narrowed his gaze. “Do not kiss Sebastian again.”
