Page 87 of Wretched Soul
I shrug. “All I did was change a few measurements on the architect’s drawings.”
“You’ve delayed the completion of the works at Poulton Springs by at least a month,” Ash says. “We’re not going to see any activity this side of Christmas. And more importantly, you did it without us having to put boots on the ground. No one got hurt. That’s a good result.”
“Doesn’t change the fact that we’re heading into a bloodbath at some point,” I say morosely. “If Barrett knows it’s us, he’ll be squealing to the Russians.”
Hunter stops shoving noodles into his mouth. “By which time, we’ll be better prepared. Take the win, Mace.”
I say nothing, and the discussion moves on to an even less agreeable topic.
“It’s Alice’s memorial on Tuesday,” Ash says. “Who thinks we should go?”
“And do what?” Hunter asks. “Sit at the back like the pariahs we are?”
Reid sucks hoisin sauce from his fingers. “Did Barrett mention the memorial in his letter?”
“Yeah, it was part of the whole cease and desist tirade. He doesn’t want us there, which is why I’m asking,” Ash says, looking at me. “I know how you love being told what to do.”
“And Alice did tell you to play nice,” Reid says, as if I need reminding.
I look around the island at my brothers. “You think going to Alice’s memorial will put me in a better mood? How messed up do you think I am?”
No one answers.
“Seriously guys, I appreciate the effort, but I have to work through whatever this shit is on my own. I don’t need my hand holding.”
Maddie sets down a bowl of oatmeal in front of me. I don’t know what Connie’s been teaching her, but this brown sludge isn’t what I was expecting. And then the steam rises and the aroma makes my breath stutter. It’s dark and sweet.
“I saw the chocolate in the refrigerator, so I added some.”
Dropping my head, I blink to clear my vision. I know all eyes are on me, so I try to act like my insides haven’t just spilled out onto the floor. I pick up the spoon and take a mouthful. Synapsesin my brain go off like a fourth of July parade. Salted caramel. Chocolate. Lily.
I try to swallow, but as the oatmeal hits the back of my throat it meets a sob. I swallow both as silently as I can, but my shaking shoulders give me away. Maddie puts a hand on my back and rubs circles.
“Aren’t you all missing the game?” she asks sharply.
Chairs scrape against the floor, and the pressure on my chest eases as my brothers disperse. I act oblivious to the coordinated retreat, and eat more oatmeal. The reminder of Lily is devastating, but this might just be the next best thing to tasting her lips.
The TV turns on and a commentator’s voice echoes through the apartment as someone raises the volume.
Maddie slides onto the seat next to me. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”
“I wish I fucking knew,” I reply, stirring the oatmeal.
My sister-in-law leans her elbows on the island so I can see she’s looking straight ahead, and not directly at me. She doesn’t speak. She just waits.
“Why can’t I just be normal?”
Maddie’s face scrunches in pain. “The thought of you being anything but the deep and sensitive person you pretend not to be, would be a travesty.” She chances a side glance. “Don’t settle for anyone who doesn’t see that.”
“She can’t see what I can’t show her,” I say. “All she knows is that I’m the freak who hacks her phone, listens to her personal voicemails and killed the last man who touched her. Would you swipe right?”
“Did you meet on a dating app?”
“No, she came at me in the middle of the expressway when I impressed her with my driving skills.” I smile at the memory of wiping chocolate from her lips, and swallow another spoonfulof oatmeal. It sours in my stomach when I add, “And now she’s back on the dating apps.”
Maddie scowls. “You saved her from that creep in the club, and she dumped you?”
“No,” I say, leaping to her defense. “I gave her a choice. Just like Hunter gave you a choice. We can’t offer normal lives, but with Lily, she wouldn’t just be taking on the usual Griffin hang-ups. She’d be taking on mine. I tried to respect her privacy. I took the tracker off her phone, and look what happened. I’m not going to be able to do that again. And she knows it.”
