Page 45 of Wretched Soul
I sit down opposite my brother, mirroring Ash’s position. He’s doing his best not to make this confrontational, so I keep my tone level. “I’m not looking for love, or a relationship, but she could be important,” I admit. “I just haven’t worked out if that’s a good thing or not. For either of us.”
Ash inspects the coffee cup in his hand. “I don’t expect you to come to me for relationship advice,” he says. “But I do know what it’s like to love someone and have to give them up. If that’s where you end up, then I’m here if you need to talk to someone. Don’t make my mistake and let it eat you from the inside out, or you’ll end up a heartless bastard like me.”
While I appreciate the offer, I’m not someone who’s comfortable sharing my vulnerabilities. I learned that from the best, and he’s sitting right in front of me. I know there was a significant other in Ash’s past, but it’s an area where I chose not to pry. It’s taken a lot for Ash to open up this much to me, so I offer something in return.
“I’ve set boundaries, and she knows not to expect too much.”
Ash smiles into his coffee cup. “Have you not met Maddie? Hunter was under the same illusion when they got involved, but hearts and minds don’t always work in sync,” he says, looking up. His eyes narrow on my chest. “Are you going to show me your new tattoo?”
“No,” I answer quickly, willing my blood pressure not to surge. My brother’s waiting for my cheeks to flush. Fucking Reid and his big mouth.
Ash shakes his head. “You damn idiot,” he mutters. His chest rises and he lets out a long sigh. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but speaking of Maddie, she might be a good person to talk to.”
“Jesus, Ash,” I reply, genuinely shocked. “Are you having some sort of aneurysm? Maybe we should cancel our meeting with Alice until you’re feeling better.”
Ash laughs. “I’d sign up for one if it got us out of this fucking meeting. I hate that we need to strike a deal with her.”
I relax back into my seat. Who knew talking about Alice would be a welcome relief, but I’m eager to draw a line under our conversation about Lily. “Is there any more prep we need to do?”
“Are you happy with the proposal we’re putting on the table?”
I shrug. “For the sake of the innocent lives about to be herded through Poulton Springs, I guess we have to be.”
“Agreed,” he says. “And if there’s nothing else we need to do until this evening, do you want to join me on the little whiskey tour Rory’s organized?”
I can feel the pull of my laptop, which has remained in my carry-on since we landed. “I’m never going to understand your fascination with distilleries. They smell only marginally better than Maddie’s paper mill.”
Ash rises to his feet. “That’s my one true love you’re talking about.”
I don’t entirely believe him, but I say nothing. And when Ash sets off to meet his friend, I also follow where my heart is leading.
I make a nest of pillows and tech on my bed before opening up my Lily dashboard. I get alerts on my phone if she leaves her apartment so I already know she’s at home. When I’d installed the listening device in her living room, I’d written code to monitor sounds so I get notified if, for example, someone else was inside her apartment. For security reasons, obviously.
There’s also an alert I receive whenever Lily mentions another man’s name. Connor comes up a lot, and from the conversations I’ve overheard, I now know that they work together, and that they had once… Fuck. I can’t even think of Lily with another man, and if I was just a notch further along on the psycho sliding scale, Connor would be dead by now. I don’t like that she still works with him, but I’m working on that.
The only reason I’d been listening in the other night was because the name Lily had mentioned was mine. It crushed me to hear her talking to herself about not being worthy of a second date. I’d been having dinner with my brothers, but there was no way I was going to let Lily spend another night thinking she was anything but the goddess she is. I hope the love gods are keeping count of all the times I’ve forgone my own pleasure while seeing to her needs. Although, in truth, that’s my pleasure too.
It would have been nice to have slipped into her bed and spent the night with her, but I’ve never woken up with a woman. It’s a line I’ve never crossed, as is going past a third date.Technically, I’m not sure if my encounters with Lily constitute even one date yet. Does fucking her in the back of a limo, or sneaking into her apartment uninvited count as a date? Ash’s question comes back to me. Is she important?
I set that conundrum to one side when a notification flashes up that Lily is in her living room, and she’s mentioned someone called Luke. She’s on her own and her cell phone isn’t active, nor is she using internet data. She must be talking to herself again.
To be sure my technical wizardry hasn’t missed the arrival of a visitor, I do a quick manual check of the CCTV in the corridor outside her apartment. I should relax when I confirm she’s alone. And I could choose not to listen in as Lily voices her private thoughts, but I’m sorry, Slayer. I need to know who the hell Luke is.
“I know, I know, I know,” Lily is mumbling to herself as I tune in. Her voice grows louder then fades again. She’s pacing. “But I’m not you. I’m no good at this. Goddamn it, Luke. I wish you were here. I need you.”
The desperation in her voice sets my teeth on edge. I might hate this guy even more than Connor.
There are deep breaths. “OK, let me try this,” she says. “Right then.” Another breath. “Here goes. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.”
What the hell? Why is my girl making beeping sounds? Is this where I find out she’s even more unhinged than I am?
“Hey, Mom,” Lily says, her voice full of forced cheer. “I bet you didn’t expect to hear from me.”
I quickly check the dashboard. There are no active devices, and she doesn’t have a landline. This is an imaginary call. Of course it is. The beeps represented her dialing her mom’s number. Lily’s mom has been phoning twice a week like clockwork according to the call list on her phone. Every one ofthose calls has been ignored, and the voicemails her mom leaves have remained unopened, not counting the one I’d listened to.
I settle back on the bed. I think I might know who Luke is, and I should leave Lily to her privacy, but maybe I can help somehow. Dealing with her mommy issues is far more appealing than dealing with my own.
“I know it’s been a while, but I’ve been so busy. And, well… I figured we both needed space,” Lily says. She’s still pacing. “It was Luke who made me call. Because, you know, I’m such a screw up that I take advice from my dead brother.”
