Page 29 of Nexus
“Are you Irish?” I asked, picking up on his foreign accent.
“Something like that,” he hedged.
Even with a table between us, my unease grew. I could sense these beings were far more powerful than anyone I’d ever met before. Not even Drake Gilden could compare to them when his cloak slipped to reveal his inner dragon. “What are you?” I queried.
“I’m a trickster god,” Crowmon replied. “Or I was, before I transitioned to what I am now.”
“Yeah, that’s really helpful,” I said sarcastically. “Why are you dressed like a clown?”
He looked down at his outfit in surprise, then smiled sheepishly. “Force of habit,” he said, then clicked his fingers. His shirt changed to a red t-shirt. Craning my head, I saw he was now wearing green trousers. His hat had turned into a red and green baseball cap, but a couple of bells adorned the top of it.
“We are both agents of Order,” Fate told me. “Our task is to choose suitable champions to save their worlds from the agents of Chaos.”
“What do you want with me?” I asked.
“Isn’t it obvious?” the ex-trickster god asked. “We’re interviewing you for the role of becoming your world’s champion.”
I stared at him for a couple of seconds before bursting into laughter. “I hope I remember this dream. My mom will die laughing if I tell her I’ve been chosen to save our world.”
Waiting for my snorts and giggles to die down, Fate held her hand out and a clipboard appeared. “We will now study your credentials,” she said as she read the document that was attached to it. “Your mother trained you to hunt monsters for a full decade and you have been a bounty hunter for Drake Gilden for the past four months. Is that correct?”
“What’s that?” I asked with a frown.
“It’s your resume, dearie,” Crowmon said, leaning over to read it. “It says here that your father’s identity is unknown, but he’s presumed to be a supernatural creature?”
“My mom was involved in an orgy and I was conceived that night,” I said, with a shrug. “All of the beings were supernatural in some way,” I added.
Fate leaned against her weird little partner’s shoulder and he toyed with her hair lovingly. “The Sterling women pass their traits on to their daughters,” she read from the resume that I hadn’t compiled. “You all have various talents that are unique to you. Your main ones appear to be heightened strength, imperviousness to injuries and quick reflexes.”
“I can turn any object around me into a weapon, too,” I boasted proudly.
“Would you be able to give us a demonstration of your abilities?” Crowmon asked.
“I guess so,” I replied, suddenly feeling nervous again. I’d never had to attend an interview like this before. I hadn’t even asked for the job they were interviewing me for and I was way out of my comfort zone.
Crowmon pointed behind me. “You’ll find a selection of objects you can use to defend yourself with during the attack you’re about to be subjected to.”
Feeling several vampires appear behind me, I surged to my feet and spun around. The room had grown larger while my back had been turned. Five vamps were spread out from each other and were staring at me hungrily. They were dressed in jeans and t-shirts and could almost pass for normal humans. Only their pallid skin, empty eyes and fangs gave them away. Even the ones with dark skin looked pale and washed out. The objects the god had mentioned were scattered all over the floor, which was now bare concrete.
“Mmm, I love chubby women,” one of the leeches said and licked his lips. “They always taste saltier than the skinny ones.” My eyes narrowed as I marked him for death first.
“She’s not chubby,” another vampire scoffed. “She’s fat.”
“You’re number two, fanghole,” I said menacingly as they began to advance on me.
“Did you just call me a turd?” he asked incredulously.
“I was talking about the order I’m going to kill you in, but I guess it fits,” I taunted him.
The other three bloodsuckers had remained silent, sizing me up to see if I was dangerous. None of them seemed to notice Fate and Crowmon watching from their seats at the table.
Crowmon had taken my boast of being able to turn any object into a weapon as a challenge. He hadn’t provided me with anything a normal bounty hunter would use to kill their foes with. Instead, I had a variety of items usually found in a kitchen to choose from. One of the leeches leaped at me and I sprang into action.
Ducking down, I rolled inelegantly beneath him and he landed where I’d been standing. Scooping up a toaster by the cord, I spun it in a circle and smashed it into the vamp’s face when he landed and turned to grab me. Teeth and blood flew from his ruined mouth and he screamed in agony. He couldn’t bite me without fangs, so I let him stagger away, holding his bleeding face.
Whirling the toaster around above my head, I bent down to snatch up a wooden spoon. Using the heightened strength Fate had mentioned, I snapped the tip of it off with my thumb. It was now sharp on one end and I speared it at the first unholy fiend on my kill list. It pierced his heart before he could avoid it. Mouth opening in agony, he turned to a pile of ash and clothing before he could scream.
“Get her!” the second leech on my kill list screeched, then the three uninjured foes rushed at me together.
