Page 60 of Haunting Phantom
My heart physically hurts thinking about it. The guilt never leaves me. It’s always there, swirling and eating me alive from the inside out. “I know that she’s gone, but it still doesn’t changewhat happened. I killed her, Autumn. And she fucking haunted me for it.”
“But the accident wasn’t your fault, Blake.” She gently cups my chin and swivels my head to look at her. “You do realize that, right? Nobody could’ve helped what happened that day.”
My eyes pinch shut, searching my memories for anything I could’ve done differently. I have nothing.
“I know, it’s just hard… even though I know she’s gone, it’s hard to let go of her.”
Autumn’s lips slightly rise at the corners. “Then don’t. Keep her here,” she says, placing a hand over my heart. “Give her a little space in there for her to live forever. Just leave me room so I can have some of your heart as well.”
She giggles when I roll on top of her, trailing kisses down her neck until my mouth is full of breast. “It’s too late for that, Autumn. You stole that the moment I met you.”
Blushing, she swipes a piece of her light auburn locks from her face, a face I could look at forever. “Good to know we felt the same that day,” she hisses out as I gently bite her nipple.
“Can we stop talking about Eve?”
Her beautiful smile stretches across her face, her fingers tangling in my hair that’s unruly and needs a comb. “Sure, baby, whatever you need.”
Her lips press against mine as I ease her legs apart, settling between them until we’re skin to skin again. “Right now, I need you.”
She gives me a shy smile. “That can be arranged.” Her legs part even more as she hikes a leg up over my hips, my hardened cock pressing against her entrance.
One of the last times we did this; she wasn’t in control of her own body. Now she’s one hundred percent all her. She must see the turmoil in my eyes, because her sweet hand cups my cheek again. “Don’t worry, Blake. This time it’s just me.”
I kiss her palm, enjoying the feeling of her touch like it’s the first time I’ve ever had it. “Thank fuck for that,” I practically yell, my cock sliding into her with ease. Her fingers dig into my back, raking against the sensitive flesh as she moans in appreciation.
“This time I’m going to savor every minute and implement it to memory,” I whisper against her cheek, thrusting in and out of her slowly and with precision.
“Faster,” she begs, her legs curling around mine. “Harder too.”
“As you wish,” I murmur, sucking at the nape of her neck until she’s marked as mine. The bed hits the wall with force as I slam into her, our bodies melding as one, our minds lost in each other. In that moment there was no Eve, no one meddling, no one taking control. It was just me and Autumn… the woman who saved me from the ghost who haunted me. The woman who showed me that I didn’t have to be tied and tethered to my past, or slip into old habits just to cope with everything going on around me.
She accepts me as I am. Broken… lost… living without any purpose until I met her. She makes me feel stronger, like I can accomplish anything—a muse who inspires me to better myself for this wretched world. I wanted to die before I met her. I thought that’s what life wanted for me, to haunt the world in misery like the woman who came before her.
But after meeting Autumn, I realized that there was more to living than just existing in your grief. There are things out there to live for—to die for. I should’ve died with Eve that day, but for some reason I was spared, and a part of me thinks it was all to meet Autumn.
There’s a brighter sun on the horizon, one that rises and sets in Autumn. And even though I’ve experienced some crazy horrific things over the past few months, I finally see a light atthe end of the tunnel, one I’m proud to march towards instead of run away from.
I’m not sure what the future has in store for us, but if it’s what I picture in my mind, then someday soon she’ll be my Ol’ Lady, and after that my wife. No other man will ever know what it’s like to be with her—or touch her. Not as long as I live and breathe.
Losing Eve made me feel unworthy of loving anyone. But finding Autumn has shown me that even the most corrupted and tormented men are worth the virtue of pure blissful happiness.
“Hey, what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?” she questions, bringing me back to the moment, her fingers gently gripping each side of my cheeks so I’m only focused on her.
My lips touch down on hers, the soft tenderness of her pout, healing the wounds invisible for others to see. “I was just thinking about how I don’t really deserve this… deserve you… deserve happiness and love.”
She laughs, her hands gripping my cheeks even harder, so I can look into those bright blue pools of perfection until the ends of time.
“Blake, you deserve more than you’ll ever know. And if it takes me my whole life to prove it to you, I’ll happily walk by your side, showing you you’re just as worthy of love as anyone else in this world. I know you’ve been through hell and back over the past few years. You’ve been through things most people will never understand, but that doesn’t make you less of a person. In my eyes, you’re the strongest man I have ever met, and even though you still feel lost and broken, I see you for everything you are—everything you’ll become.”
“And what’s that?” I question, unable to let her words sink in like they should.
She beams, that smile of hers lighting up the entire room. “Mine,” she whispers. “A wonderful man worthy of living a life free without any ethereal tethers holding him back.”
There’s an electricity in our kiss, our bodies still in perfect synchronization as I move in out of her. Even when I’m lost in my thoughts, the motions come so easily, like I was put on this earth just to please her.
“I like the sound of that.” I’m practically out of breath, each word feeling like a heavy burden on my tongue. “I’m sorry I’m so fucked up.”
“You’re not fucked up, Phantom,” she encourages, her fingers digging into my hair, pulling at the strands as she etches near an orgasm. “You just needed someone to come in and save you from yourself…”
