Even he was tired of me focusing so much on the band. Old habits were hard to break, and I didn’t know how to turn off the need to make sure we were the best we could be. I nodded and forced myself to focus on the story Mateo was telling about trying to fix a door and how he ended up breaking it and needing to replace it all.
“I think maybe you won’t be working unsupervised at my parents’,” Jeremy joked. “And I’m happy most of the work that needs to be done is outside.”
“What’s up, assholes,” Easy said as he walked right into the house followed by Liam and Glen.
“What are you guys doing?” Devon asked and wiped off his hands and mouth before walking over to greet them.
“We’re on our way to the house we’ll be staying at and just wanted to stop by and see what you guys were up to,” Glen said.
“We just got here a few hours ago. Are you hungry?” Mateo said.
“Sure,” Easy said, at the exact same time Liam said no.
“We have food ordered; it’ll be there as soon as we are. So, we’ve said hello, now we need to go,” Liam said.
Easy grabbed a slice and took a big bite before backing toward the door. “Thanks, guys. Glad you all made it here and you’re settled in,” he said before kissing Liam on the cheek.
“Ew, see you tomorrow,” Liam said, wiping off his cheek and grinning at Easy.
“See you tomorrow,” I said and watched as Devon walked them out before locking the door when he came back inside.
“Okay, so I guess we should talk about our playlist,” Jeremy said as soon as Devon sat down.
“We should,” Devon said and squeezed my leg.
Five
Devon
After dinner we all relaxed and made it through one movie before Johnny started to fall asleep. It had been a long day, and I was more than ready to go to bed. With him snuggled into my side, I struggled to think of any place I’d rather be. “I love you,” I whispered.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered so softly I barely heard him.
“For what?” I asked and turned enough to see him.
“For always talking about business. I knew you guys were all ready for a break, but I just can’t seem to turn it off.” He was frustrated. His hand clenched so tight I worried about his knuckles and any skin his nails were digging into. I took his hand in mine and soothed it until he relaxed and then I kissed the tip of his nose.
“It’s okay. I love you and the guys know how serious you are. They don’t mind, and neither do I.”
“I love you too. There’s never been anyone I’ve loved as much as I love you,” he said. His eyes were heavy and full of so much worry.
“We’ll take some time off and we’ll all come back and kick some bigger ass in Sacramento,” I said and hoped it helped calm his nerves. He nodded his head before wriggling into my side so closely I could feel it as every part of his body relaxed, just before he fell asleep.
“I can’t believe we’re here,” Johnny said as we waited backstage at Rocktoberfest. The stage was just as massive as it had beenwhen I’d played here last year with Blinding Light, but this time it would be us out there. “What if they hate us?”
“Babe, there is no way in hell they’ll hate us. We’ve been practicing nonstop this week, and we were fucking awesome before then,” I said, but he still didn’t smile. After that first day, we’d gone to the practice room every day and when we were back at the house we’d practice more. Everyone was even more serious about this gig than all the others we’d played. No matter how exhausted we were, we were all willing to put in the hard work.
Mateo stood to the side of the stage, his bass hanging low and looked like he expected Freddy Kruger to jump at him any second. I was about to walk over to him when Jeremy appeared and bumped his hip into Mateo’s. He instantly smiled and the two of them started chatting just as Johnny spoke. “We’re on in five.”
“Are you ready?” I asked, because if I had to judge by the sweat on his brow and the fact he hadn’t stopped moving, I’d say he was just as nervous as Mateo. He shrugged a noncommittal shoulder but didn’t take his eyes off the small view we had of the crowd.
“Devon, I’m going to admit something to you I’ve never admitted to anyone,” he murmured and leaned a little closer to keep it between the two of us.
“Is something wrong?” I whispered. NowIwas worried. I’d never seen him this nervous before we played. My armautomatically wrapped around his waist, and he rested his head on my shoulder for a moment before he took a deep breath.
“This is what I’ve always wanted, to play the big time, but now we’re here I’m so scared I’ll fuck it up for us all.” His voice was so soft I barely heard it over the crowd and the sound of the stage crew running around setting up for us.
“That’s not going to happen.”