Page 36 of A City of Smoke and Demons
‘You’re a fucking witch-hound?’ she choked out, her vision blurring, knives stabbing at her insides. ‘I can’t …’
‘I was, but I’m not anymore. Analise—’ Ezra put his face in his hands, shoulders shuddering as he took a deep breath. When he lifted his head again, the acceptance, the defeat, in his expression was like a punch to the guts.
In a quiet voice, he told them about his visit from Blackwood. ‘Jem knows.’
‘Of course he does,’ Lira said, voice clipped. ‘Right. Youcannotleave this building, Ezra. I need to speak with the Order, and Analise, you—’
Analise shook her head. ‘I’m not staying here.’
Lira’s expression was sympathetic. ‘You have to, for now, until we know what’s going on.’ She marched towards the door. Analise hurried after her, catching her arm.
‘Don’t leave me here,’ she begged, not giving one fuck if Ezra heard her.
EzraIves. Fuck.
Lira gently pried Analise’s fingers from her arm. ‘He won’t hurt you.’
‘No, but I might hurt him,’ Analise snapped. Panic had her now, the shock slowly sliding away. She couldn’t see properly. Her hands were shaking, throat constricted as she tried to breathe.
‘If it makes you feel better …’ Lira removed one of her daggers from beneath her coat, pressing it into Analise’s palm. ‘Don’t hit anything important.’
Analise took the knife. ‘Lira …’
‘I know, Analise. I’ll be back soon. I promise.’
She left, the sound of the magical door lock echoing through the town house like the final toll of a death knell. Analise gripped the knife so tightly her knuckles turned white. She couldn’t return to the kitchen. She couldn’t look at Ezra, didn’t even wantto be in the same building as him, let alone the same room. She hurried up the stairs, eyes blurring. Furious, Analise blinked the tears away. Her blood was burning, desire and lust and now shock swirling through her, the core of her body slick between her thighs.
Damn him. Damn him to Hell and back.
She paused at the top of the stairs, the skin on the back of her neck prickling. Cautiously, she glanced over her shoulder. Ezra was standing near the door. His shoulders were rigid. He looked up and for a brief moment, Analise thought she saw regret, apology, all the things she didn’t want to hear but desperately needed to.
He lied to her, from the beginning, and the worst part was, she’d known it. She’d known all along, even after he told her about the Gendarme, that there was more. The man she slept with, had been sharing a bed with, had been fucking on a kitchen table, was EzraIves. She’d heard his name long before she’d seen his face, and had resolved never to be in the same place as the man who would know what she was by looking at her.
Only he hadn’t, had he? She wasn’t sure why she thought it, but she was certain he hadn’t known what she was the first night they met.
‘Analise—’
‘Do not speak to me,’ she spat. ‘Not one word. Do not look at me. Do not come near me, Ezra, or I swear …’
He nodded, then returned to the kitchen. She rubbed her eyes, forcing the emotions away. Anger. She held onto that because if she didn’t, she’d cry, and she was not going to break. Not now, not in front of him. She pressed her hand against her chest, her amulet biting into her skin, her shattered heart somewhere behind it, and barricaded herself in the bedroom.
It was dark when Lira returned. Analise heard her arguing with Ezra downstairs, but couldn’t make out what they weresaying. When Lira knocked gently on the door, Analise jolted, then rushed to open it, ushering her friend inside and sliding the dresser back in place. Lira said nothing about it, climbing onto the bed, sitting cross-legged. Analise joined her, keeping her eyes on her hands. They’d not stopped shaking.
‘Remind me not to eat off the table again. I’m assuming it was the table?’ Lira’s voice was light, teasing, but beneath it was worry.
Analise was numb, and wrapped her arms around herself, shivering.
‘Analise?’
‘I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say.’ She took a deep breath, forcing herself to be calm, forcing herself to speak. ‘I’m glad you arrived when you did. You stopped me from making a terrible mistake. So thank you.’
‘Analise—’
‘He lied to me,’ she snarled. ‘From the start, he lied to me.’
‘Yes. He did,’ Lira agreed. ‘But so did I.’
‘And believe me, I’m angry with you, but it’s not the same. Whatever it was, between Ezra and myself, it’s done. It’s done,’ Analise repeated, taking a deep breath and running her fingers over her face. ‘Are you letting me go home?’
