Page 75 of A City of Smoke and Demons
Ezra, who hadn’t defended himself, choosing to let her hate him.
What did that say about her? What sort of person had she shown herself to be if he wouldn’t even try to tell her why he was on the run?
The sort who wouldn’t have listened to him.
Analise found at least ten Order members, including Lira and Tobias, in the basement. The beautiful hunter, Samira, was in the ring, assessing those looking up at her. She was tall and lean, with long legs and powerful-looking arms. Her dark hair was tied back in a tight braid.
Analise startled when Samira called Ezra onto the platform. Heart pounding, she hurried to Lira’s side as Ezra climbed up and peeled his shirt off. When he spied Analise, he came and crouched in front of her. His eyes shifted over her face, and she wasn’t sure what he was looking for. She’d been avoiding him, and he knew it.
‘Mind this for me, will you?’ he asked softly, holding the shirt out.
Analise could only nod and take it, bundling it in her arms. Lira nudged her, and Analise’s face flamed when she caught sight of Ezra’s back. There, above the waistline of his trousers, were scratch marks, fresh enough to be noticed. She didn’tremember doing that, but she could remember his hands and his tongue and his fucking mouth that should be outlawed or something.
Her fingers tightened on his shirt.
‘Those scratches are nasty,’ Lira commented.
‘Shut up,’ Analise muttered. She wondered if Lira knew what Ezra had done.
‘If you’re lucky, she’ll bust him, and you can put him back together.’
Analise remained silent.
‘It must be difficult,’ Lira said conversationally. ‘To have a man who looks like that interested in you. You’re drooling, by the way.’
‘He’s not interested in me.’
‘He looks at you all the time,’ Lira pointed out; around them, people cheered. Analise snuck a glance in time to see Samira’s fist shooting towards Ezra’s ribs. He caught her wrist and spun her around, pulling her into him, back to chest, and for a moment, all Analise could feel was his weight pressing against her spine and his fingers gripping her hips.
‘Maybe,’ Lira went on. ‘He—’
‘Stop,’ Analise commanded. ‘This is hard enough as it is.’
‘I know you’re blaming yourself for what happened with those Familiars, and I know how hard it must be to be around Ezra. I’m going to guess you’re still angry with him, but maybe look at who he is, not what he was,’ Lira said gently. ‘My suggestion—get to know him, perhaps without getting him naked.’
Ezra and Samira had finished sparring. They were standing on the other side of the platform. Analise watched them as covertly as she could as Jem took their place in the ring. Lira was wrong, she decided. She wasn’t angry at Ezra for lying to her anymore. She was angry at him for caring, for doing what shewanted, for being there when she needed someone, even in the most fucked up of ways.
And she was angry atherselffor so willingly believing the worst of him was all he was.
‘You’re right,’ she told Lira.
Lira gave her a surprised look, but before she could say anything, Jem called out to her. ‘Tell me you’ll stay and watch while I kick my brother’s arse?’
‘Wouldn’t miss it.’
As Lira climbed onto the platform, tossing scathing sibling insults at her brother, Analise’s gaze drifted to Ezra and Samira again. His face was bright and open, the same expression she’d seen him wearing many times in the safe house. Was that his true face, she wondered, or a mask?
Sensing her watching him, Ezra glanced over. They stared at one another for a moment, then he said something to Samira, who smiled and nodded, touching his arm, her hand lingering on his skin.
Analise twisted his shirt between her fingers. She’d never been a jealous person, especially not over something that wasn’t hers to begin with. Even though it was her Ezra had been with, it didn’t stop the ridiculous possessiveness that sprang to life when the beautiful hunter looked at him. Analise dropped her gaze, conflicted, and when she looked up again, Ezra and Samira were gone.
She took a shaky breath. The sound of Lira and Jem trying to kill each other faded.
People were hard. How was she supposed to deal with another person’s feelings when she couldn’t even deal with her own? She wasn’t used to so much emotion, or the way it was teased out of her by the simplest of things. A smile, a laugh shared with her, a simple touch on the back of her hand, or a sympathetic squeeze of her shoulder.
The fact was, even if she wanted to do as Lira suggested and get to know Ezra, Analise didn’t know where to start. Loneliness was a curse, but until Analise was swept into this new existence, she’d not realised the empty feeling that she tried to fill with drink and sex with strangers, was loneliness at all.
And how long did it take to get to know someone anyway? Weeks, months, days? Was it a matter of asking the right questions in the hope the answers would lead her to the truth? And could she even do this, considering what had happened between them?
