Page 71 of Until Next Time
“Yeah, probably.” He says with a grin. Then adds, as he takes my hand. “Let’s go. I’m starving.”
* * *
We make it through dinner, and to my delight, there were only two subtle jokes about Dawsen and I sneaking away to my bedroom. One was from River, asking if I was showing Dawsenwhat I had taped into my bedside table drawer. The second was Crawford Jones of all people, asking me if his son was being a gentleman, or if he needed a reprimanding.
Loved that.
We all moved into the living room once the plates were cleared. It’s the Banks Christmas tradition to sit around the tree enjoying after dinner drinks, mom usually dishes up some sort of dessert, and dad plays music. We chat, we laugh and we honestly just soak up each other’s company. It’s always been one of my favorite things about Christmas. These moments right here. The ones that from the outside don’t seem very spectacular, but when you’re in it, when you’re immersed in that living room surrounded by the people who love you most in the world, it’s the closest thing to heaven on earth. It’s definitely heaven in Saddlebrooke, that’s for sure.
Mom and dad are cuddled up on the love seat near the fireplace, both with wine in hand. Crawford is sitting in the yellow wing back chair near the front bay window. He’s holding a glass of bourbon and talking to River about the ranch and how he’s propositioning to have some repairs done on the stables. Casey is sitting on the ground with her glass of wine and giving her two cents in between River’s breaths. I’m sitting on the couch, curled up next to Dawsen Jones. We’re just quiet, listening to the crackle of the fireplace, and the hum of voices. His lips are pressed into my hair, and I feel so safe.
I’ve never felt so at peace as I do in this moment right here. I glance over at my mom and see her looking at me. Her face has a sweet, kind expression. It’s then that I know she knows how I’m feeling. She nuzzles in closer to dad and gives me a sweet, knowing wink. Like she sees my life coming together, slowly, surely, and in a way I’ve always wanted.
You never know what you’re going to get when dad’s in charge of the music, but tonight I’ve been pleasantly surprised.It’s been mostly jazz, some nostalgic Christmas songs, and only one Jimmy Buffet song, to all of our delight.
Nora Jones, “Come Away With Me” starts playing, and my mom audibly gasps. She loves this song. So do I. I mean, how could anyone not like it?
Dawsen straightens, making me shift also. He leans down and whispers into my hair, “Dance with me, Birdie Banks?” I blush. And I oblige.
He stands from the couch and extends his hand out to me. I put my hand in his and he leads me just a few steps into the center of the room. He pulls me in close and seconds later, he’s got one hand wrapped around my waist and the other is weaved through my fingers.
We giggle at everyone ‘Ooing and Awing” around us. Even though Dawsen and I both believe we kept our feelings hidden pretty well, it would seem that we didn’t really have anyone fooled except for ourselves.
As we sway back and forth, I rest my head against his chest. I can feel his heart beating. I’ve longed for this closeness for so long. It feels as though we’ve finally been given permission to act on every instinct, desire, and feeling we’ve had locked up in the cages of our hearts.
There’s something so odd, yet so satisfying about going from what we’ve always been, to two people exploring and learning each other so intimately within a matter of days.
I’m lost in my thoughts of our history and every decision and choice that has led us to this very moment when I feel Dawsen’s hand come to the side of my face. He brushes my bangs behind my ear, and drags his knuckles softly across my cheek. His eyes are looking into mine, like my eyes hold the answers to everything.
“I love you, Birdie. I know that seems fast, but I’ve loved you for so damn long and I don’t want to waste anymore time.” Hisknuckles, still brushing my face softly. I reach up and hold his hand, staring back into those eyes. Those dazzling eyes. “I love you, Dawsen Jones. Always have. Everything else has just been killing time.” I wink, and he smiles and then leans down and places the most tender kiss to my lips.
We stay there for just a moment. I’ve almost forgot that we have an audience when applause breaks out.
Everyone bursts into a fit of laughter.
“Nora Jones. Works every time.” My dad pipes up proudly, and I see my mom give him a playful punch to his arm.
“I don’t want to know what you mean by that, dad.” River says, shielding his eyes like he’s disgusted.
“If you ever stop dicking around, maybe I’ll queue up some Nora Jones for you too someday, son.” My dad retorts.
“Thanks for that, Jack.” Dawsen nods at dad, and they both give each other a knowing smirk.
* * *
About three days ago, I could never have imagined my Christmas Eve playing out the way it has. I never imagined Dawsen professing his love to me in my parent’s living room.
I’ve not been sure of much lately, but I’m sure that I want life to feel like this forever. I mean, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing with my life yet. I’m still a thirty year old, unemployed virgin living in my parents house, but for the first time in a long time I actually feel hopeful. I don’t know what’s on the horizon, but I have a pretty good feeling about who’s going to be around me while I figure it out, and that’s bringing me solace.
* * *
Christmas Day has come and gone, and it was the most peace I’ve felt in years, if I’m being honest. It was a simple day spent under the same roof with my parents and River. I woke up early with my mom and we drank coffee, danced around the kitchen in slippered feet while we made homemade cinnamon rolls. We had “You’ve Got Mail” playing on the small television my mom has had on our kitchen counter since we were kids.
Dawsen and his dad stopped by late morning because mom and I made an extra batch of cinnamon rolls for them too. Dawsen and his dad had planned to spend the day together and visit his mother’s grave. I know how hard it is for him to go there, so I was happy to be able to give him a hug and send him off with a kiss.
I would have gone with him in an instant, but I know that this time with his father is really important. I love Crawford, and can’t even imagine how hard the holidays are.
Once River and Dad joined us for breakfast, we spent the rest of the day sipping on mimosas, playing card games, and doing the most relaxing. I even finished reading a book I picked up this week.
