Page 48 of Fire
Alice watched, hand pressed over her mouth to hold back either bile or a scream, while a man she worked with and respected gave calm, cool-eyed instructions in the torture of a child. The Director set impossible expectations, but he outlined them in the same even tone he had used in Alice’s last incident review meeting. Through trial and error, he methodically worked through basic gesture commands, each step paid for in the boy’s pain.
Like a fucking dog,Alice thought, in numb horror.
At one minute and thirty-three seconds, after the boy had demonstrated Come, Fetch, Kneel, Stand, and Beg, the Director told him to kneel and then glanced at the guard.
The man looked hopeful. “Sir?” The pain and degradation had clearly... excited him. Alice could see his erection and became acutely aware of the four men pressed in around her, watching this horror show.
“Yes. Service Mr. Sloan, and be quick about it.” The Director turned his attention back to the books and papers on his desk.
When Alice saw the guard opening his pants, she put her hand over her eyes and struggled to breathe.
She heard when the video ended. Charlie, next to her, stretched out a hand to close the laptop.
“Fuck,” Donnie said. “You have more of those?”
“Excuse me,” Alice said, pushing up.
She rushed to the suite’s bathroom and just had time to slam the door and make it to the toilet before emptying her stomach. There wasn’t much in there besides crappy bar food and too much Jack Daniels, but every time her stomach settled down she thought of the Director’s hand motions, his even voice, the growing excitement of the guard, and she had to bend over the toilet again.
When she felt hollowed out, physically and emotionally, she sat back and stared at the ceiling.
The knock at the bathroom door made her start and almost reach for the gun she wasn’t wearing.
“Alice?” It was Matthew. “You okay in there?”
She felt a wild rush of relief, as though she’d spotted a life buoy in an endless stretch of icy sea. Of everyone here, Matthew was the only one she knew. “Fine,” she called. “Just too much Jack, I think.”
“Yeah,” he said. “These shitheads are gonna keep watching, but I’m heading out. Want me to walk you to your car?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, fuck.” She had the acrid bite of vomit and alcohol in her mouth when she opened the bathroom door. She tried to smile for Matthew. “Thanks for coming to get me.”
He had that same tight smile on his face. “We don’t leave anyone behind. You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” Alice did not think she would ever be okay again.
As they walked out of the hotel suite, Charlie, Donnie, and Lucas were still clustered around the laptop, its light washing their faces pale and ghastly. Muffled cries of pain sounded tinny and distant from the computer’s small speakers.
Matthew and Alice didn’t speak down the hall or in the elevator, not until they stepped outside into the icy January air. A few feet into the hotel’s parking complex, Matthew stopped, and Alice looked back at him.
“I know it’s not easy.” He paused, weighing his words. “Nothing that happens in Freak Camp is easy. You can’t know until you’re there.”
For a moment, Alice didn’t know what he meant, who he was excusing. Then it hit her, and Alice turned away, pressing her hand to her mouth, bile again climbing up her throat.
Matthew had not been surprised by the videos. He had been there.
“Alice?” Matthew stepped closer. He sounded concerned and maybe something else... was that suspicion?
Panic clearing her head a little, Alice waved him off, forcing the nausea down. Swallowing hard, she forced herself to speak. “I’m okay. I don’t normally drink that much. At all, really. I need to get home.”
Matthew sighed with mixed amusement and exasperation. “I’ll drive you home.”
Alice handed her keys over without protest, watching Matthew relax as he took them. He’d been drinking too but seemed sober in the cold night air.
On the drive, she rested her face in her hand and struggled to find words.
Who was this man driving her home? She knew him, loved him as a cousin, one that she respected, but they had really spent less time together than she and Tina, or others. Jonah had always spoken approvingly of Matthew’s leadership in the field and at FREACS, so Alice had assumed he was reliable and trustworthy.
Had Matthew been in the room for those sessions? Had heknown? Did he believe her when she said it was just alcohol and not horror making the world seem dim and distant, putting sanity out of reach?
