Page 65 of Trust No Alpha
All Thorne’s pleasure at Kris’s words plummeted. His heart started racing for another reason now. His mind spun. He had to think. To buy time, he picked up his bottle of water from the night stand and took long swallows.
“You would want that, right?” Kris asked, a slight waver to his voice as he became impatient for an answer.
“It’s a little different for me, though. I’m not labeled dangerous for no reason.”
“Oh.”
“My Burns come on hard. And they’re different for me than for others.”
“You’ve never told me why, though.”
Thorne took a deep breath. “I’ve never told anyone.”
“And you don’t want to tell me?”
Thorne started to shake his head.
“But I want to be there for you. And if I can’t, shouldn’t I know why if we are forming a bond? Shouldn’t I understand the entire situation? So I can understand you and do whatever it is you need even if it means staying away from you during your Burns?”
Thorne thought of Ian and pain sliced through his solar plexus. He would never allow anything like that to ever happen to Kris. The mere thought of it was overwhelming. He blinked and stared forward, feeling himself close in as he had in near total isolation for twenty-five years.
“Why did they label you dangerous?”
Kris deserved to know the truth.
“Theydidn’t. I did. After I knot, I black out at least fifty percent of the time.”
“You actually pass out?”
“I didn’t say that. I say I black out, and it happens sometimes during the sex act. That means I have no memory or conscious awareness of what I am doing during that time. And if I can’t control any part of myself, the Burn flushing through my body offers no guarantee to the safety of my partner during that time.”
“Did you get violent with Ian?”
“You’re bold and to the point.” Thorne didn’t mean his voice to come out gruff, but the conversation was too difficult. He’d never talked about this to anyone.
“I’m sorry,” Kris said, hanging his head. “But I feel a strong urge that I should know, but if you can’t tell me, I will understand. I’ll respect that.”
How did Thorne deserve such a treasure in Kris?
He leaned his face into his hands. After a few deep breaths to calm himself, he began to speak. “You see, there’s something called aftercare after sex with a mate. The farms are not set up that way. Alphas at the farms can of course choose to give aftercare to their Omega partners, but they don’t need to. There are others there to see to their health and welfare after serving an Alpha.”
“Aftercare.” Kris seemed to mull the word over.
“Yes. Your first Burn was mild. But the Burn can be rough on Omegas. It can go on for too long.”
“The sex part, you mean?” Kris asked, again being bold.
“Yes. Alphas have more constitution to withstand it, but Omegas need breaks. They need care. They need to remember to eat and drink or their bodies can become depleted.”
“I see. So Ian was depleted.”
Thorne shut his eyes tight again. “They say his heart had a weakness that had gone undetected. And I blacked out. I don’t know what happened. I only know that when I woke he was dead. I failed to care for him. I failed to see he needed help and if I had been aware and conscious I could easily have called for paramedics.”
Thorne opened his eyes.
Kris sat very still for a few seconds. He sniffed. Then he lifted his hand and put it over Thorne’s, grasping gently.
“Did he say anything to you before you blacked out?”
