Page 90 of The Alpha's Fake Mate
Some time in the night, I woke drenched in my own sweat, aroused and trembling.
Holland slept on, and I let him for about half an hour, just holding him as I trembled. Loving the feel of his naked body against mine, relaxed, real, neither one of us demanding anything from the other.
I was happier than I could ever remember feeling. No more cloister Omegas for rent. My true mate was with me. I could feel the truth of it in my mind and heart, in the heated blood that coursed through my veins, in the way my skin prickled everywhere his body touched mine.
Holland shifted in my arms. He made a sweet, questioning sound, muffled by sleep, before lifting his head in the darkness as if trying to see me.
“Ori?”
I pressed myself to him, nuzzling his forehead. “Yes.”
“Is it happening now?”
Such a strangely innocent question coming from him. He was always so sure of himself. He’d been the one to first initiate a kiss.
“How did you know?” My voice cracked.
He sat up. “Your body is wet. You didn’t shower… oh, you’re so hot.”
He ran his hand down my slick belly to my groin, feeling that I was harder than I’d ever been, cupping my balls. “Oh,” he said, pressing himself against me.
I wasn’t sure what to say, really. I didn’t feel out of control at all. I never did during my Burns. I was one of those Alphas who had short, sharp fevers with extended arousal that lasted about a day, or two at most. I never lost my mind. I never felt confused or in a daze or a dream—at least no more than what one normally felt in the heat of desire. It was wonderful, of course, but I could still function, eat, walk, talk.
Some Alphas totally lost themselves, but the fogs of euphoria still didn’t make them dangers. The worst, labeleddangerous, might lose all control and hurt an Omega. When discovered, they were labeled and sometimes they could get help. Strong medications to stave off Burns were usually steeped with side-effects. They were prescribed only in cases of severe mental illness, such as in the case of Bosk. So the only other kind of help available to dangerous Alphas was psychological. From what I’d heard, the success rates weren’t great.
My symptoms were among average: hypersexual arousal and a low-grade fever. Like most Alphas, I could get myself to and from a potential partner without incident. I paid, I felt little more than physical pleasure for my partners, and I left when the fever burned itself out. It never occurred to me to ever attempt a mate-bond even on those rare times I did top and produce a knot. No hint of a mate-bond ever happened. The fact that Bosk had intentionally done this to Holland in a frenzy of mania while inflicting pain would continue to infuriate me for the rest of my life.
Holland said softly, sliding his thighs over mine and letting his belly rub against my cock, “Mate-bond me, Ori, so I never have to think of that monster again.”
I ran my hands along his smooth waist. “Is that the only reason?”
“No.” He leaned in to kiss me. “I want it. With you and only you. Always.”
“Extreme emotion helps create it.”
“I have extreme emotion.” His quiet voice soaked through the darkness. “For you.”
He didn’t yell his love off the rooftops, but his tone held an echoing depth of feeling that brought a sting to my eyes.
“Me, too.”
We’d had months of getting to know each other, even if most of it was long-distance. But it was as if we’d always been together. As if it were meant to be.
I pulled the lube we’d been using out from under one of the pillows and cradled it between us.
“This once, unless you decide otherwise, will be like this… me inside you. I promise never to hurt you, and I will never demand it from you now or in the future. It’s all your choice. You have the control. Are we clear?”
“Stop talking,” he said, his breath against my cheek. “You talk too much.”
“You think these things,” I responded. “But they need to be stated aloud.”
“I know you won’t hurt me.”
My cock throbbed. I loved Holland inside me, and my secret nature as an Alpha was to bottom, but now the prospect of merging with him, pumping into him as I my fever rose, made the blood in my veins surge hotter than ever.
“I don’t know that,” I said, lifting him a little so I could see into his eyes through the dim glow of the bathroom nightlight. “When I knot, it won’t be easy, even for someone, uh…” I gulped.
“Unscarred?” He finished the sentence for me, tossing his head. “But you must knot me for the mate-bond. Plus, I want it. No, I demand it.”
