Page 26 of Alpha's Embrace
I’d never responded this way to any Omega even when in the Burn. I’d never come with a single touch like that. Never. I always needed more friction no matter how desperate or hard or burning up.
When I finally re-oriented myself, I made myself clean and unwrinkled, and presentable. I left the bathroom, went straight to my desk and sat there for about an hour. Not working. Not doing anything. Just sitting and ignoring my calls, my messages, my texts.
The air seemed too close, too thick. I was breathing fine but I never felt as if I got enough oxygen.
Finally, I turned to my work. The day was growing later, and darker with the storm. I was behind on everything, so I planned to stay late.
With every move I made, every report I read or forwarded, or signed off on, I couldn’t stop thinking about Misha.
When Tory came by my door to say he was leaving for home, I had barely noticed the time. I merely nodded to him, and continued on with messages, reports and files—everything I had put off to the side to deal with later, I dealt with. I made myself into a machine and got the work done.
The next time I looked up, the time was nine o’clock.
I realized I needed to get a meal, go home, and get some sleep. But for all these hours, all my needs eluded me. I shut everything down in my body.
Now my stomach growled loud enough to echo in the room. I was more thirsty than I could ever remember being. But still I sat. I stared for long minutes at my closed door.
I was afraid to get up and go anywhere in the building for fear of running into Misha. I could still smell him on my hands, though I’d washed them over and over again. I was being ridiculous and I knew it but I couldn’t stop the fear, or the rush of excitement that I might see him. That maybe I really wanted to see him.
Forcing myself to rise, my muscles aching from too long in the chair, I hastily made sure my desk was in order and opened the door to my office.
Tory’s desk sat empty and silent, his computer off. Beyond his alcove I heard the night staff making their rounds. Footsteps. Echoes of soft voices. And more distantly, a cry now and again of a patient.
I had met all the patients. Even the older ones, Tracy and Cedric, had no affect on me. But I had not talked with either of them, let alone touched them. They were incapable of any focus, or an ability to be interviewed.
But Misha. How was I to know?
They should have hired a doctor, an expert, for this job. It was a lot of paper-pushing, but as a general family counselor, I was out of my league here and I knew it. All because of one adult patient.
I made it out of the building without seeing or speaking to anyone. The night shift was thin and so they stayed busy.
After a stop for a to-go burger, I got home and crawled into my bed with my food and turned on a movie with the sound loud.
I ate without thinking, without tasting. I heard the TV but didn’t pay attention to the plot. Everything was a jumble in my mind. Tired and exasperated with myself, I finally fell asleep.
Chapter Seven
Misha
There were no windows in the castle corridor, but when I went to the end of the hall, the natural light fell about me in white rays so brilliant I could see the floating dust particles in the air. The sight made me smile.
It had been two days since King Geo left me in the shower area alone. I had not seen him.
I knew why. He was embarrassed. He’d gotten an erection when he tended to me. It wasn’t his fault. It was mine. I didn’t mean to faint, but I wanted him to touch me. I wanted it with all my being.
Having read a lot about my condition and what my Sylph label meant to the outside realms beyond our lands and holdings, I expected Geo to respond to me. I intended it, though I never wished to hurt or burden him. Erections didn’t embarrass me. Every day I had them too often to count.
But King Geo seemed very uncomfortable. I didn’t like that it might mean he would stay away from me now. He was the only one who spoke to me as if I were an actual person. He was the only one in my entire existence who’d shown any interest in providing a better life for me with my current surroundings. He had given me attention. He had tried to see me for me.
I had only met him twice, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I wanted to see him again. But what if he didn’t want to see me?
I promised myself that if I saw him again, I would consciously try to hold back my allure. I would be standoffish and casual. If possible.
I kept replaying in my mind what had happened in the showers by the bathtub. He’d touched me. First he’d used a cloth in the soapy water, but his fingers had slipped a little and connected with my chest, shoulders, stomach and thighs.
Skin to skin contact. I’d never had it in my life. When the Omega caregivers and Alpha nurses who’d cared for me when I was very young held me, they always wore protective gloves. They never held me for long, even when I cried. It taught me very quickly how to self-soothe.
What Geo had done for me after I fainted had been unprecedented. He didn’t act like a nurse toward me. And he didn’t wear gloves.
