Page 58 of Alpha's Embrace
But one thing they couldn’t diminish. The draw, the longing, the primal ache from deep within that demanded I take what was mine and make him my mate.
Nothing, no logic, no threat, no idea of failure could extinguish that flame.
I had decided over a week ago not to take Misha with me. Now I faltered.
I need to make a final call on this. I needed to stand by my convictions. And I had no time left. Either I would leave alone tonight. Or take what was mine. Could I do both?
Chapter Seventeen
Misha
I had cried so many tears over the next few days my pillow was wet.
The fate of Geo, which I had thought at first was personal, might have involved more than Doctor Prim had hinted at. The nurses and guards had started gossiping. I overheard mostly snippets about his work hours.
“Geo only came for a half-day three days in a row.”
“Geo was out for two days plus the weekend and Jamie who works in the hospital said it was for his Burn.”
“Geo was off all day yesterday. Again!”
My primary road to comfort was my imagination. I told myself a story.
King Geo had left on matters urgent to the realm. There were battles to be won and lost. He might never return. But if he did return, for the safety of himself and his kingdom, I could never be seen with him. I could not communicate with him, for unfortunately, my own people would see it as an act of treason. I would be condemned, but worse, King Geo might find himself in the middle of a full rebellion.
I would never risk his life for my own personal gain. My wants and desires must be ignored at all cost, however much it pained me.
Three nights after the visit from Doctor Prim, I lay on my bed in the darkness, eyes wide open, the shadows so thick I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. My tablet was at my side. I’d already checked it twice in one hour for the time. It was only just after midnight. The night that would never end.
I kept telling and re-telling my story in my mind, emphasizing the parts where my king’s life hung in the balance and my own desires would seal his fate.
My mind brought his image to me in full three-d color. I saw his dark lashes framing sweet green eyes, his strong mouth and jaw, his rich brown hair in two distinct curves framing his forehead. His lean body in a crisp white shirt promised all sorts of planes and dips and valleys if I could only reach out, remove that shirt and touch him. I knew his skin would be soft, prickly with brown hair in all the right places, and hot, so hot.
For a long time I let my little fantasy play out, knowing it was wrong. I needed to deny myself any thoughts like that. I must not let my feelings for Geo rule me.
I concentrated on the footfalls of the night guard walking up and down the hall every few minutes. I counted his steps. Thirty up. Then he would vanish for about five minutes. Then thirty back toward my area of the hall.
For once, both Cedric and Tracy were quiet. Sleeping. I heard a few distant echoes, cries of the afflicted like me, but so far away as to be mere whispers.
I counted the guard’s steps again and again. When he was gone a little longer than I thought he would be, I realized I’d fallen into a doze and missed his next round.
My body raged under the sheets, wanting, always wanting.
My mind called for Geo. My blood flamed for him. The Burn created in me a nearly unstoppable force. I felt so weak before it. How could I ever stop wanting Geo?
Again he appeared in my mind and would not leave.
His scent drifted over me, hair gel that smelled like sweet warm leather, clothing emanating the freshness of the wind, the Alpha spice that was almost animal, feral and charging and strong. I wanted it to take me. Take me away.
As I breathed in the scents of my imagination, I marveled at how good I was at making it real. I felt him as if he were in the room, close, so close.
I heard the footsteps of the guard again and began to count them to distract myself. One, two, three. They sounded a little lighter than usual. Had there been a shift change? But that usually happened at five a.m.
These weren’t the usual guard’s boot steps. I convinced myself it must be a nurse. Until they stopped right outside my door.
I heard the lock on the door rattle and unlatch.
I sat up, the sheet pooling at my thighs.
